Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2006. I snapped this photo because this was an UNUSUAL sight in my home. Mattie rarely to never napped! It was unheard of, unless of course Mattie was sick! That day Mattie went from ON to OFF. One minute he was playing and the next he was on the couch sleeping! A major clue that immediately meant he was sick and running a fever.
Quote of the day: All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. ~ Ellen Glasgow
This morning was another winner. Not unlike yesterday morning. It took me close to two hours to get my dad up, showered, and cleaning up his multiple bouts of irritable bowel issues. I am quite certain the average adult child couldn't face what I do each morning. It feels overwhelming, but to my dad the world is a large toilet bowl. He has lost all reasoning about this, which is frustrating, but I have had to come to terms with this reality. I would be lying if I did not say that these clean ups add to my level of sadness about my life.
Given the chaos upstairs, I wasn't sure I was going to get my dad downstairs in time for his physical therapy session. Thankfully it worked out and he was able to have breakfast before his session. During the session, his therapist asked me for a ball. A ball that could be placed between my dad's knees while doing exercise. Seriously it was a very innocent request! But guess what..... the innocent request sent me for a tailspin. Why? Because I quickly realized two things, one I had no idea if I had any of Mattie's balls that he used to play with, and two, my other half who would know where I could find balls in the house is no longer here. It was like getting hit with two tragedies all at once. I may not be doing this description justice, but I felt emotionally paralyzed with the therapist's request and though running around looking for a ball in the house, I was drowning internally from multiple forms of grief.
Meanwhile this morning, my goal was to work on the Foundation's Awareness Walk website. I had carved out some time. I sat down and tried to get on the site. Of course.... I couldn't! I wrote to my support person, Joel, who has helped me since 2020 with the website, and he said the site was down and the company was working on the issues. Joel promised to get back to me today to let me know when the site was operational again. My joke with Joel today was I was happy to hear that the issue was on his end, because my natural reaction is..... what did Vicki do? Joel's response to me was..... Vicki you are TOO hard on yourself. You got this!
This afternoon I took my parents out to lunch. I literally only take my parents to about three or four restaurants. As a result, I know the managers and most of the wait staff at these places. Each Thursday, we go a restaurant where we work with Tammy. Tammy is a thorough peach and outstanding server. While we were dining, I noticed the table next to me. It was filled with two young women and both had baby carriages in tow. Once they got up from dining, I glanced at the mess they left. I am not talking about just a little mess, I am telling you it looked like a bomb blew off. Bread was all over the floor, straws everywhere, napkins on the floor, spilled water everywhere and total chaos. I called Tammy over and she alerted me that these women are regulars and they are also notorious for leaving before paying the bill. I am not sure what stunned me first, but I am curious, do they treat their own homes in this careless fashion? Who picks up after them at home? That may sound judgmental, but having taken Mattie out for years, I would NEVER leave a place in this condition, I would be thoroughly embarrassed. Overall, I am not sure what I found most upsetting about this..... the mess, the fact that they come back to a place where they have skipped paying the bill (MORE THAN ONCE), or the total lack of respect they have for others around them.
Given all I have experienced over the last two years, I am heightened to such things as disregard, disrespect, self-absorption, and selfishness. These are traits that frankly I can't tolerate. Life is complicated enough, and I do believe how we treat one another can result in making someone's day good or horrible. May we all try to be a glimmer in someone else's life each day.
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