Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2007. It was Mattie's 5th birthday party! That day his entire preschool class was invited to the National Zoo! All the kids got safari hats and got to take a special private tour with a zoo keeper. Naturally the weather did not cooperate.... as there was torrential rain! What I thought was going to be a disaster turned out to be a big adventure! One of my friends took this photo and then Michele sent it to me! I am so happy she captured Mattie's excitement. What is hard to see, was Mattie's amazing emotional growth! He went from a toddler who couldn't handle noise, people near or touching him, to a child that truly appreciated having friends and all the fun that comes with sharing moments together! Mattie was amazing and courageous even before ever being diagnosed with cancer.
Quote of the day: If it were this easy to "just get over" chronic pain, nobody would ever suffer from it. I totally do not understand how people can nonchalantly brush off how utterly debilitating, painful, and agonizing it is to have to struggle through every second of every single day. I think it speaks volumes to their character when someone can dismiss another's pain as if they were swatting a fly off their shoulder. Chronic Pain cannot be dismissed. The burdens and black clouds that hang over our heads cannot just be cleared or moved over. It takes incredible strength and resilience to walk through the darkness not knowing if you'll get to the other side where the light is. We all do it every single second of every day. For some, the light comes much faster than for others. ~ Marni Kyle
I got up today at 5:30am. I had to do this because I had blood work that had to be completed at my doctor's office and in order to get there by 10am, I needed to get up early to manage my dad, breakfast, chores and dropping my dad off at his memory care center! Since I had to fast for this test, I went through my entire morning without food. That may not sound like a big deal, but for my head.... it is a huge deal! Needless to say, a migraine was triggered this morning and now at 6pm, it hasn't gotten any better.
After the doctor appointment, I stopped at our local bank. When I tell you I know every teller and banker, I am NOT kidding. That is how helpful they have been to me since my divorce. One banker gives me a hug every time she sees me. But today I was chatting with one of the tellers. She is a part time caregiver to her mom, so we share stories each time I am in. Today, however, this same teller told me about the tragic death of her boyfriend, who was killed in a freak car accident. The accident happened in March of 2021, and to this day, she HATES the month of March. That may sound odd to others, but to me, it makes PERFECT sense! When our lives have been dramatically changed and the course of our future altered..... we remember! Which is why I could never forget July 23, 2008....the day Mattie was diagnosed; August 5, 2009....... the day we learned Mattie's cancer metastasized, and of course September 8, 2009......the day Mattie died. These days are etched in my mind, as are September 23, 2023.........the day my separation began, and October 31, 2024...... the day my divorce was finalized.
This afternoon, I stopped with tasks and chores and I took my mom out for tea. Seriously by 1pm, she starts walking in circles until I take her out! Don't you know it while having tea and sitting still, someone kept ringing my doorbell. I could see this from my cell phone. This person was persistent. So I finally answered the door through my phone and it was a contractor who arrived to fix the leak in the pool. I have been dealing with this significant pool leak since last summer! It is finally being addressed but the contractors are driving me nuts. NUTS I TELL YOU! I had to run home and deal with the contractor's needs.
Because of my migraine and running around, it would have been nice of the contractor to thank me for rushing home to accommodate him! After all I did not know he was coming! When I arrived home, he didn't say a word of thanks, but only made more demands. At which point, I blew up, and he proceeded to tell me how rude I was! If he only had some idea of what I was balancing, perhaps he would take rude off the table. Especially since I had opened up a hose bib for him last week, that was located by the pool. Instead, today, he insisted that every hose bib around the backyard be turned on. That was when I lost it! I then called my pool company to complain about this contactor and the owner of the pool company is coming on-site tomorrow because she knows I have reached my patience limit!
Signing off today because the chores just continue and my head is pounding and I can hardly keep my eyes open from pain.
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