Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was home between hospital admissions and that day we went out into our commons area to fly a kite. A kite that Mattie had just received from his support network of friends. Our commons space in Washington, DC was the ideal place to learn to walk, ride a bicycle and fly a kite. The wind blew just the right way in this space to make kites airborne. I miss these Mattie moments, his energy, and zest for life.
Quote of the day: It is not unusual for others to want closure more than the person experiencing the loss. ~ Pauline Boss
I had a more peaceful Monday night, compared to Sunday. I will never forget the smoke and heat detector alarms that went off or what it took to change the batteries! This morning I got up early because I knew I had to juggle my dad and a service person coming to the house to help maintain the generator. Given that our property loses power at all times of the year, I am happy my parents installed a generator in 2022. But I care for that big piece of equipment religiously.
Originally when I chose today for a service visit, the company told me that their policy is they will not give me an exact time. Instead, they would only alert me by text message 30 minutes before the tech arrives. That did not sit well with me. So last week, I text messaged Bob, my electrician. Bob works for the same company and he knows what I juggle on any given day. Any case, Bob worked his magic and Shaun came over at 10:30am. Shaun is familiar with my generator, since he helped me in the Winter of 2026, when the generator battery died, and the neighborhood was without power.
Thankfully the generator is doing well and Shaun says I have a "golden" oldie. Mind you it is only four years old. The new generators rely on technology and as such, there are issues that are arising that need to be worked out. Interesting!
While I was juggling my dad, getting him to his memory care center, dealing with Shaun, and doing Foundation work, my mom wanted to return a call to her long time friend. Her friend called this morning, while I was showering my dad. Needless to say, I couldn't pick up the phone, though he tried my home phone, cell phone, and my mom's cell phone. If he only knew what I was juggling at that hour! Any case, I got my mom situated for the call and gave her ear phones so she could hear without holding the phone. I waited until she connected with her friend and then I moved along. Ten minutes later, I went out to check on my mom and she had the ear phones in her ears but wasn't talking. I asked her what happened. She didn't know! I asked her whether her friend dropped the call or had to go and do something? Again, she didn't know! So I helped her call back. This time I was listening. Every five minutes the call got disconnected, and her friend kept calling back! Now I knew she had a strong Wi-Fi connection to make the call, so then it hit me..... my mom was holding the phone and whatever she was doing was disconnecting the call. So again, I got up from my desk and told her to leave the phone on the table and to just talk. That worked perfectly!
Naturally in conversation comes.... how is Vicki? I could hear my mom giving a very skewed update. Skewed because it sounded like I was fine, moving on, and having a great life. Seriously I wanted to know who she was talking about. I could even hear the discussion of me dating! The notion that anyone thinks I could possibly date is down right hysterical. To me that negates my long term relationship and everything that has transpired. Not only do I have no intention of dating, I am still wearing my wedding ring. This reminds me of when Mattie died. I think people wanted me to return to being "normal." Actually I don't just think that, I was ACTUALLY TOLD THIS! Friends wanted me to think toward the future! But unfortunately surviving a traumatic loss doesn't work like that, it takes time, more time, and more, more time. That said, I would love to be the Vicki that was discussed today on the phone call.... as she sounds like she is a happy and thriving!
No comments:
Post a Comment