Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday, September 14, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. At that point in Mattie's treatment, chemotherapy was almost done, we knew Mattie needed a sternotomy to remove the tumors in his lungs, yet we all remained hopeful, never guessing that only six weeks off of chemotherapy, Mattie's cancer was going to spread everywhere. Sometimes NOT knowing is a gift. That particular day in the child life playroom, you can see that Mattie created a VERY interesting hat. Mattie had his playful and silly moments, which was medicine to all of us, because it was through his activity that he gave us hope.


Quote of the day: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss


I am absolutely brain dead and exhausted from a six hour long licensure board meeting today. Between creating legislation, regulating professionals, approving new licensure applicants and sanctioning others, I feel like I have been hit by a truck. So tonight's posting will be short to non-existent. Nonetheless, I came across Dr. Seuss' quote tonight and it made me pause.

I paused because there is a great deal of truth in Seuss' statement. There are NO imaginative characters or rhyme being used here, which was SO typical of Seuss, but instead a whimsical message about being true to one's self. I think understanding "who you are" maybe a constantly evolving process. Certainly at the core we have some solid values and beliefs that remain consistent over time, but even this core can't help but be challenged under certain life circumstances. Mattie's cancer in so many ways crumbled our core, and each day that goes on, we are forced to rebuilt, re-evaluate, and come to terms with just who we are. Who I am now, is quite different from the person I was in 2008. Yet, I have found that those who matter most to me, will listen to what I say, how I am feeling, and though they might not agree with my feelings, they on some level understand. Or try to understand. On the journey of knowing who I am post-cancer, I find that being open and honest with my feelings with others is important to me. It helps me reconcile my changes and in the process try to determine what the future holds for me.