Saturday, December 15, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken during Christmas of 2006. We took Mattie to Massachusetts to celebrate the holidays with Peter's family that year. Behind Peter's parent's house are woods and this beautiful pond. Mattie enjoyed walking in the woods and around the pond and I loved Mattie's cute smile that was captured here!


A Special Poem: A Day Never To Be Forgotten by Nancy Heller Moskowitz

December 14, 2012, a day of sadness,
imprinted in one's mind, by a violence
Too often experienced and never understood.
How do we explain such a tragedy?
No answer, good enough to quiet the mind
Of all who witnessed and watched, in horror.

Guns, legally procured, reigning terror
On the lives of innocents.
Children believed safe and protected
Only to have a lone stranger
Disturb their thoughts and enter their dreams.
Playmates lost, teachers too,
A result of unknown anguish.
Relief that our child is spared.
Sorrow for neighbors whose tears run freely.

Death, a natural occurrence, though not here.
A mother killed, we know not why
Followed by a plan executed, the aftermath disturbing.
Grief, witnessed as townspeople gather,
In a firehouse, a church, a home, the road
As a sign of what we can't comprehend.
A town never to be the same
Another day marked by senseless loss.

Tonight's poem was written and sent to me by my friend and colleague, Nancy. Nancy has a gift of absorbing a situation, event, or loss and capturing it beautifully in poetic form. I am happy she shares this gift with me because she gives us the opportunity to feel understood in a time where not much makes sense. I do agree with Nancy, that regardless of how we look at December 14th, there is "No answer, good enough to quiet the mind." There is no explanation that suffices to explain this senseless loss of life.

I have heard that the names of the victims of this horrible massacre have been released today. I take great issue with this, mainly because it is hard enough to absorb the shock of losing a child in a traumatic way, but now this knowledge enables the media to show up on the doorsteps of these families to capture their thoughts and feelings. Not all families may feel sharing their grief publicly is helpful or acceptable and it is my hope that such pressure doesn't add more pain to an already volatile situation.

I am also saddened that there is a political spin already occurring regarding this tragedy. The discussion of gun control and legislation to prevent such school shootings perplexes me. It perplexes me on one hand and then on the other it seems to make perfect sense. It makes sense because focusing on gun control is the easier issue to contend with, it also misdirects the attention from the REAL and PAINFUL issues. Issues that are MUCH harder to resolve and/or treat (mind you I am not saying that we should all have access to guns, what I am saying is school shootings have so much more to do with other factors than access to guns)! The issues I am referring to are mental health issues. Whether we ban, limit, or control (you use whatever word you wish to insert here) the distribution of guns is really irrelevant here. If you doubt what I am saying, all you have to do is spend some time with someone who has a pervasive mental illness or with a family member who lost a loved one to suicide. If someone is determined to kill one's self and to harm others, no amount of gun control is going to help. Mainly because this will only open up the need for more creative measures/devices/strategies of destruction. The issue is not with the guns and what saddens me is that we are living in the 21st century and yet we haven't made the progress needed with regard to advocating, educating, and understanding mental illness.

I know nothing about Adam Lanza (the perpetrator of this crime), but I suspect he had some type of mental illness and his mother either had one too, or she just did not know who to turn to for help with her son. It is much harder to get mental health support when your child is an adult, and unfortunately there is still a great stigma associated with mental illness. I think putting mechanisms in place to assist and support families contending with mental health issues may be much more complex to implement but at the end of the day this would help to secure a better future for the next generation and our communities.

Peter and I ventured to Mattie's school and we visited his memorial tree. We spent a good amount of time cleaning up the tree. Unwrapping wires and other debris attached to the tree. We then began hanging the ornaments we brought with us. I took a close up of "Tow Mater," the character from the movie, Cars. You can see it hanging here, it looks like a tow truck. In addition, you can see our wind chime on the left hand side of the photo. We added the wind chime years ago, and it still blows beautifully in the wind.  

Though this is Mattie's Tree, I have nicknamed this tree, "the sparkling tree." It is hard to capture the sparkle in a photo but with all the ornaments and other goodies on it, it does twinkle! The tree has a birdhouse on it from Peter's mom (in the shape of an acorn), cellophane butterflies (I created for Mattie's birthday), a sand dollar ornament (from Mattie's good friend Campbell), butterfly and bug ornaments (from our friend Tina), red pine cone ornaments (which Peter and I put on the tree last year), and toy cars (which we put on the tree in honor of Mattie's most recent birthday).

When I arrived at school today, I immediately noticed these beautiful bird seed dipped pine cones placed on Mattie's tree. The Brownie Troop leader at Mattie's school mentioned to me that her girls may do this for the holidays, but to actually see it implemented and attached to the tree was a very special sight! It meant a lot to us. In addition to adding Tow Mater today, Peter and I also attached several sparkly snowflakes. When you see the tree in person, there is no mistake that this is a SPARKLING TREE! A tree that captures the character and personality of Mattie.

 

Later in the day, we went to visit Becca. Becca is the Executive Chef at Clyde's Restaurant in Tyson's Corner. We met Becca in 2010, and she is the generous soul who donates and cooks ALL our hot foods at the Foundation Walks. She did this in 2011, 2012, and will be returning in 2013! Becca came out of the kitchen and sat with us for 40 minutes and chatted while we were having a late lunch. Each time I meet Becca, I learn more about her, which only makes me appreciate her more and more. The Foundation is an interesting business. Unlike some businesses, everything about the Foundation is PERSONAL. If you are working with us, chances are it is because we trust, value, and respect you. It is not just about getting a job done, meeting a goal, but it is about connections and uniting together for a common cause. We consider ourselves fortunate to have Becca on our team.