Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2007. Mattie was visiting his paternal grandparents and that evening he and his cousin Will decided to help with the dishes! These two were a riot together. I am not sure what was funnier, the fact that these two were doing the dishes or that they both decided to put on rubber gloves to accomplish this task!
Quote of the day: And I know that I am. I am his moon, and his brightly shining star. I am his life, his heart. I am all that and the answer to every unspoken question, the comfort for every hurt, the companion who will walk beside him from now until the end of our lives, reveling in the bliss of each simple chore done in his name. ~ Stacey Jay
Though this quote was not written about motherhood, or my connection to Mattie, it nonetheless could have been. As soon as I read it, I identified with the moon, the stars, and the comforting of too many hurts, and of course the "chores" done in his name. Some days to manage the Foundation requires a whole team, not just a staff of one, yet always the driving force for us is MATTIE.
I literally spent the entire day in front of the computer. Working on our Foundation's annual drive campaign and other items. Now that I have a desk to sit at and a working space of my own, I can't imagine what it was like to work and be organized around our small kitchen table.
In the midst of working today, I came across an article that was written by Rich, the Executive Director of the American Counseling Association. To put this article into context, it is of value for you to know that when Mattie was diagnosed with cancer in July of 2008, I had just been elected the President of the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA). A National professional association representing 6000 mental health counselors. Though AMHCA is its own association, it is also one of the largest divisions under the American Counseling Association (an association with over 60,000 members).
I had gotten to know Rich years before I was elected to my position. In fact, I knew Rich when I was a graduate student and then by coincidence our sons (he also has an only child) landed up at the same school. Washington, DC is a big place, and yet small at all the same time. Any case, during Mattie's battle, Rich was in touch with us and was part of our care community and when Mattie died, Rich wrote this article in the association's monthly publication. The title of the article was Resilience and Moving Forward. I included it below in case you want to read it.
However what I would have to say is that dealing with the loss of a child is a constant struggle with regard to finding one's resilience. Almost on a daily basis. But with each subsequent year since Mattie has passed away, other challenges arise making it very hard to "move forward." Or maybe I should say that moving forward doesn't necessarily occur in a linear fashion, more like a jagged or crisscrossed one. It is the lack of predictability that can continually cause a grieving parent to become out of balance, and I must admit that this feeling becomes even more pronounced around the holiday season.
Resilience and Moving Forward
http://ct.counseling.org/2010/03/from-the-executive-director-resilience-and-moving-forward/
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