Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday, October 9, 2015

Tonight's picture was taken on October 20, 2008. It was an unGodly hour of the morning as we waited in the pre-op area with Mattie before his first limb salvaging surgery. I will never forget that day because it was there that I first met the doctor who was going to oversee his pain management. Typically I love anesthesiologists, but this doctor and I did not see eye to eye from the moment we met one another. We disagreed before his surgery about Mattie's post-operation pain management and after the surgery was over, it was like World War III. She refused to give Mattie a pain pump, something that his surgeon requested and highly recommended. She did not want to give Mattie this pump because she knew I would press the button for him, instead of Mattie doing it himself. Needless to say, following her plan, Mattie was in horrific pain. Until I finally exploded and our attending HEM/ONC physician backed me up and we overrode the anesthesiologist's orders.  



Quote of the day: If you put out acceptance and warmth, you tend to attract the same. ~  Deborah Day



I had a six hour long licensure board meeting today. For the first two hours of the meeting, I presided over an ethical violations hearing. I can't talk about the case, but after it was over my fellow board members said that I have the patience of a saint. In fact my tone and listening to a very frustrated individual in front of us, seemed to de-escalate the situation. I took these as high compliments because it was not an easy case to preside over! But given the day that I had, Deborah Day's quote resonates with me. Certainly if someone before you in aggravated and animated, the likely and natural response is to mirror this. However, I have found that listening and understanding why someone is angry and upset, almost diffuses the tension. When someone is upset they want to be heard, they want to get their side of the story understood, and fighting back or raising my voice serves no purpose. In a way, I may know this from clinical training, but to be honest Mattie was my best teacher. Mattie, pre-cancer, would have incredible tantrums at a toddler. Several a day, and those that would send you to your bed in need of rest kind of tantrums. When a child has such a tantrum, it is easy to get flustered and raise your voice. But I found that only made matters worse. What helped was staying calm, consistent, and to listen to what his tantrum was telling me. I can guarantee you that this strategy, once I learned it, worked 100% of the time. With that in mind, I apply this technique to all subsequent challenging interpersonal interactions I face. 

The two pieces of art that I am posting tonight were created by Mattie. Recently I shared them at a conference with others, and thought you may want to see them too. This bright red one clearly was illustrating Mattie's feelings about being in the hospital and undergoing chemotherapy. He was desperate to try to escape pain (the red). 
He tried riding a bicycle, walking, running, climbing, and floating in the air to escape. As you can see the word HELP! was written to capture his sentiments. 

However, depending upon Mattie's mood and what was going on, his art would change. Here you see his fall theme with leaves. However, you may notice this brown creature with legs near the base of the tree. This unfortunately is NOT a dog! Rather it was a large roach! As my faithful readers know, Mattie was fascinated by roaches. Not because he was familiar with them, but because he knew they freaked me out. Therefore, he loved to see my reaction anytime he mentioned, drew, or painted roaches.