Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2007, on Mattie's first day of kindergarten. It was a big and exciting day, as Mattie was starting a new school. I am not sure who was more nervous, me or him! Prior to kindergarten, Mattie only went to a three hour a day preschool. I wasn't sure how he was going to manage a full day of school, surrounded by people he did not know. But Mattie was a survivor and he thrived on new experiences. He was much better at adapting to those kinds of changes compared to me. In any case, I remember on that morning thinking that I would take a photo of Mattie on the first day of all his school years. Unfortunately that never happened, as 2007 was the first and last year Mattie ever went to school.
Quote of the day: Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? ~ George Carlin
On November 8th (yes I can remember the exact day vividly because it was the evening of the Foundation's Bourbon and Bites Bash), I called my urologist at midnight. I called her because I self diagnosed that I was experiencing an urinary tract infection. Therefore, I needed help! I have come to the conclusion that empathy and compassion have got to be taught OUT of students in medical school. I say that because when you find a doctor who listens, seems to care, and is understanding, it is noteworthy. This isn't the norm, but the extraordinary!
When I called my doctor at midnight on November 8th, I spoke to her after hours service. Who kindly took a message for me and said they would page the doctor. The first time I called, I waited 50 minutes for the doctor to call back. However, she never did. So I called the answering service back again, who at that point called the doctor themselves and woke her up. They then patched the doctor through to me. Needless to say, the doctor wasn't thrilled I called and woke her up. In addition, she told me she had to get up early for surgery the next day. Ironically, I empathized with her, but she couldn't with me. Which actually made me angry, especially as I was in terrible pain.
Two days after that phone call, I tried talking to my doctor's colleague about her behavior. But he is either frightened of my doctor or clueless. As he wouldn't answer my questions about his own office's after hour policies. So when I saw my doctor today, for my four month follow up appointment, I came with many questions for her. Not to mention disappointment! As I don't expected to be treated this way after working with her for ten years. Ten years of seeing someone every 3-4 months mind you!
She acknowledged how I felt today, apologized, and decided to give me an emergency supply of meds, so when I feel an infection coming on, I can address it immediately. Would any of this have been accomplished if I did not speak up? If I wasn't aggressive and knew how to advocate for myself? The answer would be a resounding NO! But one of many things I learned when caring for Mattie in the hospital and that is the loudest and most persistent voice gets the best care. A sad commentary, but it is the reality. I find whenever I give feedback to a doctor, I am immediately transported back to the days we lived in the hospital caring for Mattie. I am not sure I ever will be able to separate medical care of any kind from Mattie's cancer battle. I am aware of this, but my medical providers never make the connection. I am quite certain that if they did, they would have more compassion. Or at least that is my hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment