Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. Mattie was in his second month of chemotherapy. As you can see he lost all of his hair. We spent a lot of time in Mattie's hospital room whenever he was admitted. It was very confining, isolating, and stressful at times. However, we always tried to keep Mattie busy, entertained and engaged. That day he was given some new markers and a cardboard box. Mattie loved working with boxes, and enjoyed transforming them to whatever he could imagine. I snapped this photo because I got a kick out of Mattie with his tower of markers.
Quote of the day: The deeper the sorrow carves into your being, the more you can contain. ~ Khalil Gibran
Yesterday, I mentioned that my counseling colleague (Betty, the lady in green with the black hat) wanted to nominate me for Mother of the Year. Today I worked with her to answer the question.... tell us why you are nominating this special mother for Mother of the Year. Since no one knows my story better than me, it made sense to help her with this essay. In any case, the essay below was submitted in time for tomorrow's deadline. Now I have step two to do which involves a bio, my philosophy on parenting, more photos, a listing of my community contributions, and two letters of support. To me this is quite a heavy lift for this award, and I am not sure the effort is worth it at the moment. Time will tell. --------------------------------------------------
I have known Victoria since 2005. We met when she was the Executive Director of the DC Mental Health Counselors Association. A chapter of a National association that meets the advocacy and professional development needs of mental health providers in the District of Columbia. For three years, I had the opportunity to witness her leadership style, experience the energy and vision she brought to the Association, and observe the way she united members behind a common cause. She was the ultimate role model for graduate students and new professionals, as she balanced work, community service, and was a full-time mom to her only child, Mattie.
When we think of motherhood, what comes to mind are the daily activities, love, and care that we impart to our children in order to equip them with the knowledge, skills, and abilities to become competent, capable, and compassionate human beings. But what happens when a mom loses her only child to cancer? Is she still a mom? Victoria’s story illustrates that a mother’s love never dies. Instead she shows us that it is possible to live and move forward through great adversity and to harness the love she has as a mother to help countless other children with grace and dignity in our Nation’s capital. Once you hear Victoria’s story, you will agree with me that she is worthy of being Mother of the Year, as she is a mom who lives by our Golden Rule.
Victoria and her son, Mattie, were a lot alike. They looked very similar and both had a vivacious personality. In Mattie’s first five years of life, he was healthy and a typically developing child. However, at the age of 6, Mattie was diagnosed with bone cancer. He underwent eight months of high dose chemotherapy, two limb salvaging surgeries, a sternotomy to remove lung tumors, experimental treatment, and radiation. In addition, three months into the treatment process, Mattie was diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, and medical traumatic stress. Mental health issues which he did not have prior to his diagnosis. Through Mattie’s journey, Victoria learned that childhood cancer is NOT JUST ABOUT THE MEDICINE. She quit her job as an educator and put all other professional responsibilities on hold to provide care 24 by 7 to Mattie, who lived primarily in the hospital for 14 months of his treatment. Unfortunately, after a courageous journey with cancer, Mattie died in September of 2009.
Victoria experienced a parent’s worst nightmare, the death of a child. She and her husband were forced to live in a world without their child, which redefined every aspect of their life and future. Not to mention their relationship. Yet through her strength, and deep commitment and love for Mattie, she keeps his memory alive through the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation. A 501c3, that she and her husband created two months after Mattie died, on November 2, 2009. Victoria has a Ph.D. in Mental Health Counseling from the George Washington University and is a licensed professional counselor who was appointed by Mayor Anthony Williams to chair the DC Board of Professional Counseling, a position she has held for 13 years. I mention this because Victoria has a unique clinical lens that she used when she supported her son through his cancer journey. It is this clinical lens that has helped to define and shape the vision and scope of the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation.
The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation is the only national non-profit dedicated to psychosocial awareness, advocacy, support and the research of childhood cancer. Victoria always says that Mattie was her best teacher, as she takes the lessons learned from his care to guide the Foundation’s mission and goals. Mattie Miracle supports direct psychosocial services, by funding child life professionals at two hospitals in our Nation’s capital. These professionals help around 3,500 children with cancer and their families a year. Victoria not only sets the vision for the Foundation, but also spearheads all fundraising events.
In addition to Victoria’s local work, she has been working with a team of psycho-oncologists from around the US, Canada, and the Netherlands since 2012.
Mattie Miracle had the vision to create evidence based psychosocial standards of care. Ironically there are medical standards of care for children with cancer, so regardless of the hospital children are treated at, they will receive the same cocktail of medications. However, the psychological and social supportive care services offered to children and families varies greatly from one hospital to the next. Having Psychosocial Standards of Care would ensure that children and families receive the optimal level of support from the time of diagnosis, through survivorship, or end of life and bereavement care. Which is vital, since research shows that psychosocial support enhances the effectiveness of the medical care.
The Psychosocial Standards of Care were published in a top tier medical journal, Pediatric Blood & Cancer, in December of 2015. The Psychosocial Standards of Care for Children with Cancer and Their Families were developed over a three-year time frame, involved 85 health care professionals from 44 institutions across the U.S., Canada, and the Netherlands. The project resulted in the largest and most comprehensive psychosocial standards research study to date in which 1,217 journal articles were reviewed. These historic evidence-based standards define what children with cancer and their families must receive to effectively support their psychosocial needs throughout the cancer journey. The Standards have been endorsed by 17 professional organizations: 1) American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), 2) American Childhood Cancer Organization (ACCO), 3) American Psychological Association's Society of Pediatric Psychology (SPP - Division 54), 4) American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS), 5) Association of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Educational Specialists (APHOES), 6) Association of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses (APHON), 7) Association for Pediatric Oncology Social Workers (APOSW). 8) American Society of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology (ASPHO), 9) B+ Foundation, 10) Canadian Association of Psychosocial Oncology (CAPO), 11) Cancer Support Community, 12) Children's Cause for Cancer Advocacy (CCCA), 13) Children's Oncology Group (COG), 14) CURE Childhood Cancer, 15) Momcology, 16) National Children's Cancer Society, and 17) St. Baldrick's Foundation. Currently the Mattie Miracle research team is working on strategies to implement these Standards at treatment sites around the Country.
In 2019, Mattie Miracle celebrated its 10th anniversary. Here are some of the highlights from Victoria’s ten years of service as president and co-founder of Mattie Miracle:
1) Raised over $500,000 for childhood cancer
2) Supported over 25,000 children with cancer
3) Endowed the Mattie Miracle Child Life Program
4) Funded four Child Life Specialists
5) Established the Mattie Miracle Snack & Item Carts at multiple hospitals
6) Provided snacks and items to over 20,000 in-patient families
7) Published the first Evidence Based Psychosocial Standards of Care
8) Funded over $40,000 in psychosocial research grants
9) Added psychosocial language to the childhood cancer STAR Act (signed into Law, June 2018)
10) Mentored hundreds of students and young professionals
It is very evident to all of us who know Victoria, that she is passionate about helping children and families facing a cancer crisis. Yet she uses her education, skills, and abilities, to not only directly help children and families within our community but is trying to change how comprehensive cancer care is provided on the national level. She believes that psychosocial support is just as important as the medicine and works tirelessly to advocate for change on Capitol Hill.
What is also impressive is the vast number of volunteers who are part of the Mattie Miracle family. This is important to mention because Mattie Miracle uses no funds raised to support administrative or overhead costs. All funds directly support their psychosocial services and programs. Therefore, volunteers of all ages, are the life blood of the Foundation. Victoria models kindness, compassion, and energizes individuals, schools, and businesses each year to take part in the Foundation’s bi-annual item drives. All items donated help to stock the free snack and item carts that Mattie Miracle operates at hospitals. These carts help to support the basic needs of families while they are in the hospital caring for children with life threatening illnesses.
I believe that Victoria is still a mom. It is my hope that American Mothers concurs with me and seriously considers her for the honor of Mother of the Year. She uses her maternal energy each day to make the world a better place for children with cancer. From great tragedy, she has emerged, and is devoting her life to helping others, supporting other families like her who are facing the impossible, and in the process has built an incredible legacy for her son, Mattie. Victoria illustrates to all of us that with a mother’s love all things are possible.
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