Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2006. Mattie was almost four years old. That day I brought in homemade gingerbread houses to Mattie's preschool. Don't think I am an expert gingerbread maker! I had never made gingerbread before, but Mattie's teacher gave me a house mold, and my mother in law gave me a recipe for gingerbread and royal icing. From there, I figured it out! I made two houses and brought in lots of candy for decorating. The children had a great time that day, and in fact, every classroom in the school rotated through the room to help decorate the houses! All the children standing next to Mattie were in his preschool class. Ironically three out of the four families (of the children pictured here) are loyal supporters of the Foundation, 15 years after this photo was taken!
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 26,032,572
- Number of people who died from the virus: 438,708
But I am glad I did today, because there are many postings and articles I want to peruse. As my blog readers know, I can be very critical of most writings on grief and loss. Usually articles give you how to lists, which drive me crazy! I find them prescriptive and counter productive, because we all grieve differently and what works for one person may not be applicable or helpful to another. Interestingly enough What's Your Grief stated practically verbatim what I expressed.
I do not know one human being untouched by grief and loss. Which is why I find it particularly intriguing that it is a subject matter we NEVER hear about in school. Instead it taboo and as such we aren't taught the language, or given the words to use to help the grievers around us! I get many questions about what is appropriate to say to someone who is grieving? You may want to check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-to-say-to-someone-who-is-grieving/.
But the number 1 thing that MOST OF US find helpful is "supportive presence." When friends and family say.... "I'm here if you need me," "I'm here and always will be," "I'm here each and every day." Of course if you say the words, it's important to back them up with actions otherwise that actually provides an additional loss for the griever.
Here are 64 responses people have found helpful: https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-should-i-say-to-someone-grieving/.
I personally love this one.....“You can talk to me about your mom whenever you want – in 5, 10, 30 years.” What this implies to me is that others understand that loss is forever and therefore the griever will feel and express this loss throughout one's life. One doesn't go back to "normal" or "move on" after the first year of grief. That only happens on TV and in the movies.
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