Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2007. Mattie was five years old. That week we took Mattie up to Boston to visit with Peter's parents. Their backyard is filled with all sorts of natural sightings, including chipmunks. Mattie loved looking for chipmunks, which was why I snapped this photo. In fact, one of Mattie's first stories he wrote about in kindergarten was of "Chippy," the chipmunk from Boston!
Quote of the day: It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed. ~ Doe Zantamata
I have been struggling with a migraine headache and also not sleeping well. I dragged myself out of bed today, to do my usual morning routine. Sometimes a feeling of complete anxiety comes over me, and it is sparked by yet another day filled with chores, tasks, and responsibilities. My routine is and has been the same for almost two years now. It is hard on the human spirit.
However, two things perked me up today. The first, is I took my mom out to lunch at a café in one of our local department stores. We do not go there weekly, but often enough that we have gotten to know one of the servers. She takes great care of us and looks out for my mom. The café was filled today, but if I make a reservation, Tiffany (our server) always saves the corner table for me. It is this little gift of kindness that mean so much to me. The café was bustling with couples, families, and meetings of friends. It was a vibrant surrounding without being overwhelming. In any case, for that moment in the café, I felt somewhat normal.
Then at around 4pm, I went for my four mile walk. I am trying to integrate this into my daily routine. Sometimes I can't do it, but it is during my walk that I listen to music, tune out the world, and absorb the beautiful trees and greenery around me. Taking an hour for myself doesn't always come naturally to me, especially when there is so much around me to do. But I am trying to make this commitment to myself. Of course what is missing on my walks is taking Sunny. Sunny is struggling and he can no longer manage walks, especially in the heat.
Sunny started a new chemo therapy two weeks ago. It is truly taking its toll out on him and it is hard to get him to eat anything. Sunny used to be a dog that ate whatever was put in front of him and could eat throughout the day. Now I am lucky we can get him to eat once a day. I try to remain positive and hopeful with Sunny, and thanks to Mattie, I have learned to appreciate each day we are together.
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