A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



January 29, 2026

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2003. Mattie was 9 months old and I am not sure what I love more about this photo! Mattie's cute reindeer onesie or that look of happiness and excitement in his face! Mattie did not like spending time sitting on the floor. He preferred being up on his two feet and moving. So whenever it was time to play on the floor, I always tried to make it as engaging and stimulating at possible. Apparently Mattie approved of my efforts that day!


Quote of the day: But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.Calla Quinn


My dad had a 9:15am virtual appointment with the neurosurgery department. This was a follow up to his brain bleed in December. All I can say is THANK goodness they changed this appointment from a live one to a virtual one, because I would never have made it to the hospital in time. Not unlike yesterday morning, this morning's bathroom routine sent me over the edge. I literally can run around the bathroom collecting poop, and no matter what I say to my dad cognitively nothing registers with him. 

I got him downstairs and to the breakfast table in time for me to log onto my iPad and launch the virtual visit. My dad knew we were going to be talking to the nurse. I even wrote the appointment down on the white board in front of him. Yet while talking to the nurse, he was distracted, shuffling papers and moving plates and glasses around on the table. Naturally I am very aware that this is no longer my dad. This is my dad with moderate to late stage Alzheimer's. Any case we got through the appointment and she is concerned by the medications he is taking for the hiccups as they could make him drowsy and a fall risk. I told her I understood, but I can't let him just keep on hiccupping. 

What my mom and I have learned antidotally from past experience is the longer the hiccups continue unresolved the harder it will be to irradicate them. Which is why I am trying to aggressively manage this situation. 

Needless to say over the course of the last day or so, I have read a lot of articles on intractable hiccups. There are patients like my dad where monotherapy (one drug) doesn't work, and therefore a combination of drugs is needed. Between the hospital and my dad's doctor, I have access to muscle relaxants, proton pump inhibitors (basically antacids), and anti-nausea meds. Since Baclofen (a muscle relaxant) cured his intractable hiccups in 2020, I feel compelled to stick with that drug, rather than a different muscle relaxant. However,  I have learned that intractable hiccups can be triggered by neurological problems or gastrointestinal issues or both systems can be involved. Baclofen calms the hyperactive nerve signals causing the spasms, so I felt I needed to pair it with a drug that addressed the gastrointestinal side of things, which led me to Reglan. So since yesterday, I have created this plan:

  • tums right before every meal
  • Baclofen (10mg) every 8 hours (so three times a day)
  • Reglan (5mg) twice a day (I administer it three hours after Baclofen)
On Wednesday, my dad had countless bouts of hiccups, each bout lasting 2.5 to 3 hours straight. Then about a thirty minute break between bouts. His hiccupping occurs while eating, resting, and sleeping! After a day of being on the medications listed above, I would say that today, my dad has had at least 6 bouts of hiccups, but none of them have lasted more than 30 minutes. That may not sound great, but to me this is a noticeable improvement. All I know is my mom and I are on EDGE, my dad is wiped out from hiccupping and the side effects of the medications, and overall it is a very challenging time for us. 

On top of this circus show, I am now turning my attention to taxes. Another thing I absolutely hate. I try to stay organized and collect the documents that are needed, but no matter how diligent I am, there always seems to be documentation I struggle with obtaining. I am so grateful that I work with an accountant, because if I had to figure all of this out myself, it wouldn't be wise. 

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