Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2006. Mattie was four years old and it was Easter! That day we took him out for lunch at his favorite restaurant. As you can see Mattie was eating one of his favorite things.... a French fry. When I look at this photo, I see a completely different Vicki. A happier, less stressed out, and naive woman. A woman who had no concept of childhood cancer or the personal cruelty of divorce.
Quote of the day: It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack. ~ Germany Kent
Today I had a phone call with someone who designs computer apps that enable the user to take short breaks to manage stress, balance mood, and perhaps enhance self confidence. These apps are all the rage now, aren't they? There seems to be an app for just about everything and anything. In this particular case there is a lot of data about how such an app can help improve employee well-being and productivity. But how does such an app apply to a cancer patient and the patient's family? The answer is.... I don't know! As the app is not currently used in this fashion but in time it certainly will be applied to this vulnerable population.
If you ask me how I feel about this, you may get multiple reactions. I could put my mental health provider hat on, I could put my Foundation leader hat on, or I could give you my perspective as a mom who helped Mattie each and every day through his cancer journey. In this particular case, I am going with my mom hat!
Mattie's cancer journey was horrific. Each day, I was facing countless stressors. Not just everyday issues, but I was making life and death decisions. Sometimes hourly! In addition, I was balancing a scared child who had to live in an intensive care unit 24/7, practically for a year. That alone is a stressor which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. So if you ask me during my many countless moments of stress, whether I would turn to an app to regulate my mood or to de-stress.... the answer is absolutely NOT. We all know ourselves best, and if I am stressed out the last thing I want to do is sit still and look at a screen.
I have found for myself, the best ways to manage my stress is being outside.... fresh air, nature, surrounded by greenery and most importantly MOVING.... walking. If you asked me to be in a room and have a passive experience before my eyes, forget it, it would only add to my stress level. I also think when dealing with repeated medical trauma, thinking that an app can help alleviate these issues is naive.
Now that said, when Mattie was in the throes of treatment, I was glued to my phone. Not because I was tuned into an app, but it connected me with PEOPLE. PEOPLE I KNEW and TRUSTED! My phone became my life line. It gave me a place to be heard, understand, and to express myself. But the key to me is not the phone itself, it is the people. No app, no computer, no passive aid can possibly replace human connections, bonds, and perspectives. We are living in an overwhelmingly technology driven society that scares me, because things and objects are becoming more important than people. Sure apps maybe convenient, they may seem private, and they are quick, but at the end of the day.... when we are truly at our wit's end what do we do? We turn to people!!! Objects and things can never solve our problems in the long run. We are social beings and it saddens me that when discussing families facing the worse possible thing in life, a child diagnosed with cancer, that we could possibly think that any app could provide us a moment of peace is beyond me.
No comments:
Post a Comment