Friday, August 7, 2026

Friday, August 7, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2009. Specifically on August 6, 2009, the day after we learned that Mattie's cancer had spread throughout his body. While we were meeting with doctors that day, Mattie was surrounded by his hospital family. Next to Mattie in this photo was Jocelyn. We met Jocelyn early on in Mattie's treatment process. She had osteosarcoma too and she became a mentor and great supporter of Mattie. She knew Mattie was frightened about his limb salvaging surgeries (in the Fall of 2008), so she talked to him about her prosthetic leg. She even literally took her leg off for Mattie to see and she helped Mattie understand that they would do what ever was needed to fight the disease. Mattie and Jocelyn shared a very strong bond and connection and I will always be grateful that Jocelyn was there on August 6 to help distract and support Mattie. It is hard to believe that both Mattie and Jocelyn died from osteosarcoma and therefore two families are forever affected. 

Quote of the day: People assumed that once James left, the moment he walked out the door, my love for him would vanish too. But how does one turn that off after twenty-two years? How long does it take your unconscious mind to catch up? ~ Belle Burden

This morning, after I dropped my dad off at his memory care center, I went grocery shopping. As soon as I got closer to the front door of the store, I was hit with that cinnamon like Fall fragrance. Before even seeing this display, I knew the store was getting ready for cooler weather and the change of the season! SERIOUSLY!!!! Can we just appreciate the season we are in? Must we skip over summer and move into Fall? Seeing this display was actually depressing. As it signaled to me yet another season that is approaching in which I have to face being divorced. My divorce was finalized on October 31, 2024. On Halloween! Seems like a perfect date for a divorce, no?

Within the grocery store that I go to each week, is a small section that features British teas, cookies, and chocolates. Normally I only buy cookies for my dad, as I now limit my consumption of things that will raise my cholesterol. But today, there was something about these biscuits that caught my attention. It could have been that I felt exhausted and I literally needed something sweet to manage driving home and starting more chores. In any case, I sent this photo to my English friend this morning and I asked her whether she had ever tried these! Of course she had and we both commented on how tasty they are without being overly sweet!

In my mailbox today was a letter from Ranger Rick. The last time I saw this wonderful magazine was of course when Mattie was alive. Just seeing the logo on this envelope, made me reflect on my time with Mattie. 

My long time friend, Nancy, sent me this lovely butterfly and angel for my birthday. Nancy and I met each other through our professional counseling association and at the time she was providing care to her mom. I was much younger back then, but was working on my dissertation, which focused on the stresses of family caregivers. So in essence our bond started over the appreciation of caregiving and has been going strong for decades.

Perhaps you are seeing a trend from my postings and that is...... I make long term connections with people and I am not the type of person to ever walk away from those I care about. 

After Mattie died, his preschool teacher gave me my first Willow Tree angel. Since that time, you can see the many wonderful angels I have received as gifts. I even have an angel that was given to me by one of the student cohorts I taught at the George Washington University (the angel holding a book!). Needless to say, I love my angels and they are with me daily!