Thursday, October 22, 2026

Thursday, October 22, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. It was Halloween and that day we got dressed up and trick or treated at the hospital. Many of the administrative offices were handing out candy to the children and the child life team had all sorts of activities and treats for families. Mattie hand picked this costume in clinic all on his own. He loved it because the mummy bandages concealed his casted arm that was also in a sling. The costume also came with a mummy hat, hiding his bald head. Mattie had a full day at the hospital that day and then met up with his preschool buddy, Zachary, to go trick or treating. For a moment in time, Mattie had bits of normalcy. 

Quote of the day: Abandonment is not just leaving someone behind; it’s leaving a piece of yourself with them, forever searching for completion. ~ Tracy A. Malone

Every morning, I use my Dyson hand held vacuum to clean up the first floor. My other half bought me this vacuum when we moved in the house because he could see me struggling to deal with pet fur, dust, and dirt each day. Remember our first floor has ivory tiles in the kitchen and hallway. It shows every piece of dirt possible! I won't part with this vacuum. Believe me! I have replaced almost every part of this vacuum over the years, thanks to the help of Dyson support. 

Do you see the red button under the canister? Well my red button came loose yesterday, so I made the mistake of using super glue to position it back in place. However, what I should have done, was let the glue dry, before inserting the canister back on. Today, when I used the vacuum and I went to open up the canister to throw out the debris, I couldn't get it off! Why? Because it was glued together. HONESTLY, I thought I was going to flip out this morning. I tried everything I knew to loosen it and and to separate the pieces. Forget it! I now ordered super glue remover and I am hoping if I soak it in that, I can get it open. If not, I have ruined the entire machine. So this is how I started my day and it did not get any better from there!

It was a non-stop irritable bowel clean up day with my dad. I have used so much Clorox over the last couple of days, that I have once again burned my nasal passages and all I seem to smell is cigarette smoke. This clean up is down right exhausting. But there is something about caregiving, running a foundation, and maintaining this house that keeps me busy and constantly moving. 

When I woke up this morning, there were packages by the front door. I processed them at 6:30am. Then when I got home this afternoon, there were more packages for the Foundation's item drive. Again, I processed them and broke down boxes. When I went outside to my recycling bin, I found more boxes had been delivered. It is truly amazing the generosity of our supporters. However, for me, it is a very sad commentary that I face all of this work alone. I carry Mattie's memory alone and there are days when I simply feel I am going to crack up over what has happened.