A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



April 2, 2021

Friday, April 2, 2021

Friday, April 2, 2021

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2006, at Mattie's fourth birthday party. That was the first year we held a party for him outside our home. We had several friends from preschool in attendance. The theme was dinosaurs. We held the party at Riverbend Nature Center. It was a fun day, in which a naturalist did a little meet and greet with live animals, did a nature walk, and the children even got to do a plastic dinosaur bone dig in the park's sandbox. It was a day to remember. I love this photo! Peter caught a moment between Mattie and me, right before Mattie blew out his candles. 



Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.

  • Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 30,606,378
  • Number of people who died from the virus: 554,069

Since Mattie died, Sunday will mark the first birthday in which Peter and I will not be together to acknowledge the day. That may not sound like a big deal, but it is! 

I am in Los Angeles and Peter is in Boston. Peter took Sunny and Indie to visit his parents. As you can see, Sunny is stationed right by the door, next to the family cat! 
Peter drove to Rockport today, and they all had a lobster lunch at the Lobster Pool. 
Unlike me, Peter is NOT a lobster fan. So I am impressed he even ate it!


Since I have gotten to LA, I have made a mental note that my dad is taking a LONG time getting washed and dressed in the morning. For the past year, it typically took him 40 minutes total. Now it can take up to 90 minutes. That may not sound like a long time, but it is! Especially when we only have the caregiver for four hours a day and in that time, we need to get my dad showered, dressed, have breakfast, do cognitive brain games, walk 20 minutes (a PT exercise), and then do PT and OT exercises. Literally it is becoming impossible to get his morning routine done. 

So I started asking his caregivers what the hold up is upstairs with the showering/dressing process. Both caregivers are reporting that my dad is spending 40 minutes getting washed. They think he is being thorough, I think it is because with dementia he has no concept of time, nor does he remember what part he showered minutes before. Therefore, he is probably showering and re-showering himself! Tomorrow morning, I am going up to observe the process myself, because I believe my dad will need more guidance now, so he isn't taking 40 minute showers. However, why didn't they bring this to our attention? If I wasn't here, this conversation would never have happened. 

On top of everything else, my mom and I are now dealing with taxes, something my dad always did. This is something he wants to do, but he is no longer capable of this. He can't recall information for more than a minute or two and gets easily frustrated and shuts down. So we have added this to our very long to do list. 

I wish I could report feeling better but the cluster headache continues. I am not sure what is worse, the pounding head or the stabbing feeling in my eyes and the aching in the jaw. Balancing so much and feeling overwhelmed.  



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