Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2004. Mattie was two and half years old. By this point, Mattie understood the notion of posing for a photo. So unlike the year before, in 2004, I did not have to do any tricks and entertainment to capture a special moment in time. This photo was featured on the front of our family Christmas card in 2004.
Quote of the day: The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food. ~ Dean Ornish
There were several revelations from today. Two of them came while Peter and I were out walking Sunny. I am trying to make a commitment to myself, Peter, and Sunny, for us to get outside and walk together, like we used to. By mid-morning, after all my chores are done with my dad and mom, I try to escape for 90 minutes. The timing works out because with the winter months, neither of my parents want to be outside. In addition, I find after breakfast both of my parents literally need to nap.
While walking Sunny today, we went into the woods. It is lovely to hop on a trail right from our neighborhood, without having to get into the car. In the woods, we came across a mom with three of her children. The children were playing by a stream with rocks and things. The mom was taking a photo of the kids playing. I resonated with this whole scene, as I was big on capturing all moments, not such special occasions. Peter went up to the mom and asked if she wanted him to take a photo of all of them together! She really liked that idea and she handed her phone over to Peter. After Peter snapped several photos, we continued walking with Sunny. Peter told me he did this because he knows how special photos are to moms! Typically moms are taking the photos and aren't always in the pictures. TRUE, great point! I found Peter's reflections and actions with this mom very thoughtful and what that translates into is that Peter gets how important photos are to me, and also appreciates the fact that I do not have many photos of all three of us together. The ones I do have, I cherish.
One thing that both Peter and I observed is that our neighborhood is NOT friendly. When I used to walk Sunny in Washington, DC, someone always stopped me to either pet Sunny, ask about him, or to comment on what a "beautiful dog" he was! In some ways, Sunny was like a magnet for conversation! I honestly came to expect this on all my walks. Mind you it wasn't just the first year we got Sunny, it was every year we have owned him.
Moving forward to where we live now, it is a night and day difference. When we pass people on the street, most don't even make eye contact. They don't even say hi, much less comment on Sunny. NOT one person here has ever told me that Sunny is beautiful, or tried to pet him. It is like we are living on a different planet. The issue is so pronounced that Peter and I are conducting our own psychological experiment. We now go out of our way to say hi and wave to people as we walk passed them. We are profiling people, in hopes of understanding this phenomena and to find a trend to who actually responds. So far the data is NOT looking good!
So why would people in the city be friendlier? One would think that people living in a crowded space would be more indifferent, protective, and keep to themselves. What is happening in suburbia defies common sense. The only hypothesis I have come up with so far is that people here are used to having more open space and appreciate that, purposefully trying to avoid contact with others while out walking in their community. Of course I don't understand this whatsoever, because to me connecting with others is the greatest gift in life. Another thought is that in the city, people become very attuned to who is safe to talk with and who one should try to avoid eye contact with. Therefore with that in mind, I feel people in my neighborhood haven't developed this skill and as a result they ignore everyone. For what reason, again I have no explanation. Which is why I am telling you we are studying patterns and behaviors. It bothers me that much!
It is not like Peter and I have nothing better to do! We do of course. But like tonight's quote points out..... connecting with others is like a primal need.
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