Saturday, April 8, 2023

Saturday, April 8, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2008. That day we were hosting Mattie's 6th birthday party at a bowling alley. Mattie requested to have a bowling party and we invited his entire kindergarten class and several preschool friends. It never dawned on me that parents would drop off their children, and not stay. I hadn't planned for that! But I was thankful that our preschool friends' moms stayed and together they helped us with around 15 children. Ironically at the party, Mattie developed a high fever. You can see he wasn't himself in this photo. Once we got home that day, Mattie napped on the couch for the rest of the day, which meant that he was quite sick. It is hard to believe that three months later, Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. 

Quote of the day: There are words like ‘orphan’, ‘widow’ and ‘widower’ in all languages. But there is no word in any language to describe a parent who loses a child. How does one describe the pain of ‘ultimate bereavement?' ~ Neena Verma

All day today I have felt like the walking wounded. You know the feeling where you just want to put your head down and rest? Unfortunately I may have felt that way, but there was no break in sight. My dad's physical therapist came this morning and while she was here, Peter and I walked over to our neighbor's house and delivered a big Easter basket filled with candy for four children. Of course if I go next door, my six year old friend wants to play. So today I learned to play Uno, a card game for children. 

Have I ever played this game before? I have no idea! I would say not, since Mattie was like me, we both were not into card games and games in general. Not sure why, but there you have it. Any case, our neighbors have taught me 5 Crowns and now Uno. So I am on a roll. 

Tomorrow morning, Peter leaves for Seattle. He officially starts his job on Monday and is going to the company's headquarters for trainings and meetings. We are all very proud of Peter. My dad of course is VERY fixated on Peter leaving and my joke with my dad today was that I was going to pack a bag for him so he could join Peter on his trip. Or I told him better yet, when Peter comes back I will leave all of them alone for two weeks, while I take a break. I am joking, because there is no way Vicki is going to get a break, but I am trying to make a point to my dad. STOP being fixated on Peter, and if he was more clued in he would be concerned about my health and welfare. After all I am the primary caregiver and meet his every need. Despite that fact, my dad remains focused on Peter.

I received a card in the mail from my friend Nancy today! Look at this beautiful stamp! I almost forgot that Peter and I created these stamps in 2010! When Mattie was diagnosed in 2008, our catch phrase was "stomp out osteosarcoma" or just "stomp it out." Of course the sun on the stamp is Mattie's "Mr. Sun" creation that he painted with his art teacher in 2008! It was from this sun painting that the logo for Mattie Miracle was created. 

But why use the term 'STOMP?' It all started back in August of 2008, when we tried to help Mattie visualize and understand bone cancer. Since cancer is a hard concept, I decided to use something Mattie could relate to.... bugs. So his art therapists crafted a bug out of clay. We explained to Mattie that he had "bone bugs" inside his bones and the way to get rid of them was to use medication called chemotherapy. To help him understand what chemotherapy would do, we placed the clay bug on the floor and had Mattie stomp on it. In essence stomp it out, to hopefully cure his bone cancer. Mattie loved this analogy and definitely understood that even if he liked bugs, he did not want them inside his bones. So Mattie bought into the treatment process early, which was our goal, as he felt it was important to provide developmentally appropriate information to Mattie throughout his journey. 

 

We took my parents out to dinner tonight and look what I got for dessert. A coconut bunny cupcake! I am a big coconut fan.