Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2005. Mattie was three years old and we went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a week that summer. By that point, Mattie was acclimated to surf and sand. Mattie grew to love it! A night and day difference from his first trip to the beach in 2003. What I love about this photo was Mattie's expression. Mattie spent a good portion of the hours that he was awake glued to me, studying my reactions and expressions, and in many ways, though we were different genders, we were one in the same. We were aligned on reading people and had similar temperaments and emotions.
Quote of the day: The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love. ~ Kristina McMorris
I received a comment on the blog yesterday letting me know that rubrum lilies are toxic to cats. I appreciate the concern for my Indie. I am fortunate that Indie is not interested in flowers or plants for the most part. She is only interested in grasses. But I love that my readers are looking out for me because you are right, I DO NOT need one more tragic loss.
Each Sunday, I take my parents out to brunch. As I was driving, I could hear my dad panting. I thought he was having trouble breathing. I was driving on a highway, so I literally said to him.... are you having trouble breathing? The answer was no, so I quickly looked over at him. I knew the signs immediately! He was having an IBS attack. Of course, there was nothing I could do, as I was driving and unable to get to a bathroom in time.
When I got to the restaurant, I literally pulled the car over, turned on the hazard lights, and got my parents out. I immediately took my dad to the bathroom. I had a huge clean up job, which included changing his pants and socks. Thank goodness, I have a bag of all sorts of products and items in tow! I carry my own gloves, garbage bags, wipes, tissues, change of clothing, puzzle books, pencils, napkins, and straws. Literally I am NOT kidding, I have become Mary Poppins. The only thing is I can't make things magically happen!
For the past month, my dad has refused to eat almost everything on the brunch menu. So today, I asked the chef if he would make my dad shrimp scampi with rice. It is not on the menu, but I knew they had the ingredients. My dad is a big shrimp fan. I am happy to say that this new dish worked! He ate the whole thing.
I received a comment on the blog two nights ago asking if there were warning signs with Peter that could have prepared me for his abandonment. In addition, the commentor wanted to know if I had advice for others on how to protect themselves from this happening.
Here was my response and I am hoping one day, I can provide those in my life with greater context, because I assure you, you are missing the full picture.............................................
Excellent question! Some day I will be able to discuss the complexities of my issue in greater detail. Right now, you are missing many key components. But what I can tell you is that NO there were no warning signs (other than the factor I am not telling you about). Peter and I have known each other since we were 19 years old. We survived the death of Mattie and we were each other's world. Which is why this is so devastating, because we had a once in a lifetime kind of love.
When you are with someone for 35 years, you have the utmost trust and respect for them. With age, we all have ups and downs, and therefore, any changes I may have observed were explainable up until 2023. It is heart breaking to have no communication, to be shut out of Peter's life, and to be a total stranger to him.
The only advice I would have for couples is to FOLLOW your GUT instinct. You know your spouse better than anyone else. If something is off, pursue it, question it, try to discuss it, and if that doesn't work, follow your heart. I believe in time the TRUTH always reveals itself, and with the truth, solutions present themselves.
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