Friday, May 8, 2026

Friday, May 8, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old and the notion of childhood cancer was no where on our minds! That afternoon, I served lunch outside on our deck in the city. Mattie absolutely loved outdoor time and as you can see this tender moment was captured in a photo. If I could only turn back the hands of time. 

Quote of the day: A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her... ~ Oscar Wilde

It was another busy morning as my dad's nurse came over to evaluate his pressure sores. She has now discharged us from service, but the wounds have not completely healed yet. She gave me the option of continuing him on service or discharging him! I elected for her to discharge him because at this point I know how to manage this myself and I have an arsenal of medications at home! Certainly if the sores get worse, I will need her intervention again!

Treating my dad's sores is an uphill battle. Given that he is incontinent, it is very hard keeping his skin constantly clean! Despite the fact that I shower him daily and change him every two hours. But my mornings are horror shows.... as bowel movements begin in bed, carry over to the shower, and again outside the shower. This isn't a once in a blue moon incident, this is a daily routine! 

Once I dropped my dad off at his memory care center, I continued on doing chores. I was running around all morning. When I got home and was unloading the groceries, when a car drove up my driveway. The man got out of the car and handed me a bunch of spring flowers. I was confused, as I did not order flowers from Whole Foods. There was no card with the flowers, so I asked him, whether the flowers were actually for me, or for my neighbors. He showed me the order with my name and address on it, but the order did not have a sender name. So here I am with this lovely spring time arrangement, with no idea who to thank. The arrangement had pussy willows (which I love as they remind me of my maternal grandmother), hyacinths (which I absolutely love the fragrance), and tulips (which remind me of my former in-laws.... as they always loved them). 

In my news feed today, was this article, entitled, Quote of the day by Oscar Wilde: 'A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her...' - The unsettling duality of relationships and love explained by the Irish author-poet. Needless to say the title alone caught my attention! Wilde was married at one time, and after the birth of his second child, he began having a relationship with another man. Knowing this, I was even more intrigued with his statement about a man could be happy with any woman. 

But being happy with a woman and deeply loving a woman may not necessarily go hand in hand. Which was a point I never really thought about until reading this article! In fact, I think he is 100% correct, and it may easily explain how men can jump from one relationship to the next in search for happiness, or what they think is happiness, but happiness is not necessary rooted in love, commitment, and all the qualities we would think of that makes life and a marriage more meaningful. Happiness may look more stable, it may remove inter-personal pressure, but happiness alone doesn't carry you through the challenges of life and a marriage, because life is filled with heartache, crises, and grief. The only guarantees in life is that challenges will arise.... good luck relying on happiness to carry you through! Happiness will go right out the window, it is hollow, and instead the foundational core values of trust, loyalty, respect, honesty, commitment, and YES LOVE, are the necessities in any lasting relationship.