Thursday, July 30, 2026

Thursday, July 30, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Mattie was three months old. What I absolutely love about this photo was Mattie's expression. To me it showed his curiosity, alertness, and ability to track the world around him. I am sure if I asked the pediatrician, she'd say babies can't focus at such a young age and most likely would have had some sort of more scientifically guided answer. Perhaps, but at the end of the day, I feel like as Mattie's mom, I became the expert on Mattie! No one knew him better. 

Quote of the day: People can begin on the same trajectory only to wind up, twenty years later, so far from one another that it’s impossible to chart a course back. ~ Shaun David Hutchinson

Today felt like a lost day. My dad's physical therapist came over this morning. While she was here, I went over to visit my neighbor's house. Typically I do not leave my dad alone with my mom and the therapist, but I really wanted to go next door as my neighbor had family visiting. I did not stay longer than 40 minutes because I wanted to be home before the therapist left. I enjoyed meeting my neighbor's dogs too. They came right too me and it was as if they immediately understood..... I love dogs! They followed me around the house. That of course reminded me of my Sunny. 

When I returned home, I could see my dad was exhausted, but still working with the therapist. My dad works with three different therapists each week and this particular therapist I have talked to before because she was having my dad working for 60 consecutive minutes. Which is way too long for him without periodic breaks. 

Once the therapist left, I put my dad in his recliner. He seemed okay and was resting. I then migrated my mom over to the couch. Between her own physical therapy session yesterday, followed by my friends visiting, she was exhausted today. So I let my parents nap for two hours, while I was working in my office. When I tried to wake my dad up, I found he was talking to himself, seemed more out of it than usual and was in a fog. It was so concerning, I thought I would have to take him to the emergency room. I took his blood pressure, pulse, and oxygen level. His blood pressure was elevated, which was odd given he was in a recliner resting for two hours. So I literally monitored him for a hour! I wasn't sure what direction today would go, but I quickly concluded, we were NOT going out today. Which meant I had to figure out Plan B and cook.  

We had an early dinner outside on the porch. Since my separation, I haven't taken my dad out on the porch. Why? Because it is complicated getting him onto our deck and if that isn't bad enough, he typically gets bitten by flying bugs outside and then scratches his skin raw. But today, I thought we all needed fresh air. So before starting to cook, I went outside and sprayed the deck area for flies and mosquitoes. 

I did eventually get my parents outside to eat. My mom loved it, as she loves seeing the greenery and hearing the fountain, like me. My dad was more oblivious to the whole thing and then of course needed to run to the bathroom. Making the juggling act close to impossible. As you can see, even Indie got some time outside, and she loved it. 

Indie needs constant supervision, because in 2023, she wandered off the deck when I wasn't looking and she disappeared for an hour. My neighborhood isn't ideal for cats, with all the wildlife. So now Indie is only allowed outside, if I am there, but given my caregiving responsibilities, this is practically never. In days like today, I find that I think more deeply about being divorced. I miss having a spouse, a sounding board, and someone around to share life's ups and down with while facing the impossible.