Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Tuesday, September 29, 2026 -- Mattie died 865 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2005. Mattie was three years old. That weekend, we took Mattie on a nature walk and I packed a picnic. Could Mattie have managed without food.... definitely! But I couldn't! Unlike me, Mattie wasn't regulated or interested in food. Nonetheless, he would sit still long enough to snack on something especially if we were alfresco! I had many adventures with Mattie and I am so glad we did not miss a chance to see and do things before he was diagnosed!

Quote of the day: Asking for help is indeed a sign of strength. ~  Vinita Bansal

This morning after dropping my dad off at his memory care center, I was determined to get two pumpkins for our front door. Since they are heavy and bulky, I did not want to wait until I go food shopping on Friday. 

So I first went to Lowe's! I know they have pumpkins and was thinking I would get two pumpkins there and a few coasters for my flower pots that come in during the winter. When I looked at the prices of pumpkins at Lowe's, I flipped out. Larger pumpkins started at $14. Since I knew Wegman's sells large pumpkins for $6, I quickly left Lowe's! It is the principle of the matter! Why should I pay over double the price? When I could get two big pumpkins for the price of one from Lowe's! 

Any case, while at Wegman's, there was a lovely fellow outside watching me move and reorganize the pumpkins. He was a fellow customer. He literally came over to me and said that he wanted to help me pick up the pumpkins rather than me doing it. At one time in my life, I would have accepted the help, now, forget it! I thanked him but told him I could easily do this! Seriously you would be surprise what I can lift and move on my own! I shuffled around the entire pumpkin display until I found two with the perfect shapes and stems! All I know is Mattie was a HUGE pumpkin fan! The actual gourds and of course pies, cookies, breads, and muffins! It was from Mattie, that I began to LOVE the taste of pumpkin! Trust me these pumpkins won't go to waste. Once Thanksgiving is over, these pumpkins will be coming inside and I will be transforming them into soup and roasted pumpkin! 

One of the things I absolutely hate is technology! Yet I have no one around to help me care for the health of my computers. I relied heavily on my other half for this. In fact, both sides of the family relied on him for this kind of help. When I got separated, I was frozen. I had so many problems and crises to address, that I did not give the computers much thought. But then it hit me..... how will I know if there are viruses on the computer? How will I update software and so forth? Seriously I have no idea! It was at that point, that I knew I needed help! I am not a person typically who likes to ask for help! It isn't in my nature, I rather be the helper. Yet, with my separation and divorce, I realized that I did need help with certain things and therefore decided to turn to professionals. 

Today, I contacted the company who virtually examines, cleans, and updates my computer and my mom's. It is not a process I like doing and seriously I drag my feet doing it! But today, I dedicated two hours to the process. In those two hours, I was glued to two computers, answering questions and helping along with the process. All I can say, is thank goodness there are skilled people out there who are trustworthy and can offer just services. All I know is after the two hours were over, I felt proud of myself for taking on a task that I hate and feel so uncertain about. I have many, many moments like this since September 23, 2023 (the day I was left behind), and there were two choices.... sink or swim. I am trying to swim.