Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. Mattie was in his third month of cancer treatment and had just completed his first limb salvaging surgery. His right arm was in a cast and sling. However, his child life interns, child life professional, and art therapist got Mattie out of his room and to the hospital playroom. The goal was to work his lungs post-surgery. Naturally doing the typical pulmonary exercises did not interest Mattie, so they instead decided to play games with blowing bubbles. That Mattie was up for! It was a great team of women.... they will never be forgotten.
Quote of the day: When a loss is ambiguous, no public ceremony acknowledges the loss and its fallout, or honors the memory of the loved one. It was true for us. People still were unsure how to respond to the endlessness of our unique form of loss. Should they grieve with us or pretend life was fine now. ~ Pat McLeod
This morning my dad had another physical therapy session. Given that it wasn't raining and the weather was manageable, I encouraged them to do his session outside. Psychologically, my dad accomplishes a lot more outside. Whereas when he is inside, he is constantly looking to sit down and "relax." Being outside, he is too distracted by nature and other things going on to want to sit.
While my dad was outside, I sat down to focus on bills and figured out how I will be paying for everything this month. I wish I could say that three years into this, things are like a well oiled machine. They are not and given that I receive no financial support post-divorce, I have had to become a creative accountant. Something I NEVER EVER thought I would have to do, much less could do.
My lifetime friend, Karen, texted me to encourage me to complete some health insurance reimbursement forms for both of my parents. Since Karen and my parents share the same health insurer, she felt it was worth doing. If she did not write to me, I would have blown it off, because sometimes I feel like I am on overload..... that one more thing could set me off. But I did do it, and Karen is right, we should get reimbursed for money owed to us. It is a matter of principle. So another thing checked off my list.
Later today, I took my parents to our local diner. We go there every Saturday. The diner was a zoo today, filled to the brim with people. They had a party of 35 people sitting together that took up half of the restaurant. This was a huge problem, because the diner is small and Saturdays are busy dining days! Half way into the meal, I could see that my mom was upset and unable to eat (I wasn't far behind!). There was just too much chaos and it was frenetic. I would like to say it is age that is impacting me, but my age has nothing to do with it. Even when I was a teenager, I couldn't eat when there was a lot of noise and chaos around me. So in essence my mom and I are like on this front! The diner sent us home with multiple desserts for free, but frankly the damage was already done. My parents were so traumatized from the experience, that they came home and have been sleeping for two hours.
Yet while I looked around at people eating at the diner, they did not seem upset. The noise did not bother them. They were all chatting away, engaged, and having a good time. I absorbed it all, and that reminded me once again..... this is not my life.
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