Friday, May 27, 2022

Friday, May 27, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. It was Mattie's first day of summer camp at his preschool, and before moving along with our day, I wanted to capture that moment in time. You can see from Mattie's facial expression that he was not happy with my request. But he complied and now looking back I am so happy that I insisted on photos. Not just photos during milestone moments, but photos that documented our daily live together. 

Quote of the day: Sometimes our work as caregivers is not for the faint of heart. But, you will never know what you’re made of until you step into the fire. Step bravely. ~ Deborah A. Beasley

Since my parents have lived with us, we have been spending a great deal of time in about three or four local restaurants. I cook about four days a week, and then the other three we go out for a main meal of the day. My dad actually looks forward to going out. He has to interact with the world, he gets to talk with people, and it provides some structure to his day. Who knew that going out to eat would serve many psychosocial functions? But it does!

In two of the restaurants that we frequent, we have become friendly with the waitresses. They consider us their "regulars." Ironically while chatting with them, we have gotten to know more about them and their families. Don't you know it both in question have been touched by cancer. One waitress, her son is a brain cancer survivor and the other waitress, her husband died from a long cancer battle. She was his caregiver and once he died, she raised four children on her own. These are very determined and special women and what I find most fascinating about this is I think caregivers, or caregiver types, are attracted to one another. 

I personally appreciate working with both of these women, because when I take my dad out, he has a lot of needs and requests. In addition to his pickiness about food, I also have to contend with his bathroom issues. I find that I land up eating quickly at every meal because I just don't know when there will be a bathroom emergency. I used to wonder which bathroom to I take my dad into! But now it is common place for me. I waltz right into the ladies room with him, and to this day, no one has ever looked at me funny or even questioned why I am bringing him in. Of course just watching my dad in motion, it is very evident that he needs a lot of help both physically and cognitively. 

Some days are easier than others to balance his needs. If it was only the physical needs that would be one thing, but it is the cognitive issues that can really weigh on me. The constant questioning, the repeating of answers, and his inability to have interest in anything..... all are overwhelming day in and day out. To help guide my dad's day, I have a master calendar by his chair and a portable white board that highlights all his daily activities and the timing of them. Despite all my efforts, what he really wants to do is sleep the day away, which of course will not help his memory issue. All I can remind myself is to take it one day at a time. But I long for a day when I can just sleep in and not have to jump up and manage ten tasks at once. 

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007 at Andrews Air Force Base. The Base was having its annual open house air show and it was our first and unfortunately our last time in attendance. Mattie loved all forms of locomotion and we had a feeling he would be intrigued by all the aircraft. In fact, Mattie chose to be an air force pilot for Halloween that year, so we thought he would be fascinated to see a real life base! Mattie got to see the Thunderbirds perform, he got to walk around and go in several of the aircraft on display, and overall it was a very memorable day. 

Quote of the day: No one cares until someone cares; be that one! ~ Ken Poirot

Here's the thing about being a caregiver.... there are NO days off, and forget about making plans. The plan instead really looks the same, day in and day out. I can't wake up and say.... well today I don't feel like doing this! Because if I don't do it, everything in my household will stop functioning. 

Today was one of the many days in my week where I did not leave the house. My dad only goes to the memory care center three times of week. It is only on those days, do I have four hours to get out of the house and do chores. It was a grey weather day and given all I have to do for the Foundation, I did not even get to walk Sunny. I am slowly working through acknowledgments for all Foundation donations. We had over 400 Walk donations, and I am working hard to get this administrative work done. But it is hard when interrupted every two minutes. 

My mom told me that today was Peter Falk's birthday. It turns out that this isn't correct, as his birthday was in September. Nonetheless, my mom was reading reflections on his life through Facebook. I am a big Columbo fan, and based on what my mom was reading on Facebook, I am NOT alone. One fan suggested watching Peter Falk roasting Frank Sinatra in 1978. So I went to YouTube and watched it. If you are a fan, watch it. It will make you laugh. Not because Peter Falk (acting like Columbo) was trying to be funny. But it was his non stop talking and questioning that made this scene hysterical. Gone are the days like this when comedy was funny and it did not require lude and crude language and content. 

Columbo at the Frank Sinatra Roast (about 11 mins long)

I learned that Peter Falk suffered from Alzheimer's too. Given his incredible career and talent, I was very saddened to read this. Along my computer searching today, which I don't have much time to do, but sometimes I need these diversions to make it through my day, I came across this video about Peter Falk's tragic final years. I was surprised to hear about his personal life, but like many of his fans, I admire the actor first and foremost. His 60+ Columbo episodes have brought me much joy over the years. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old and as you can see he had climbed into the cart I used for laundry. In our town house in Washington, DC we did not have a washer and dryer in the unit. Instead we had this in a commons space, three floors down (requiring an elevator). How I managed this for 20+ years is interesting, but to me it just became part of the routine. A routine Mattie was familiar with even as a baby. During his baby days, I would carry Mattie, while pushing laundry and soap in this cart. We were a sight, but we were a team. In a way, I think this was an important lesson..... that chores are part one's daily life, and that everyone in the family is responsible to contribute to the routine. 

Quote of the day: Whenever I get fed up with life I love to go wandering in nature. ~ Andrea Arnold

It was another long day. I am feeling chronically exhausted and unfortunately that feeling translates into how I feel and in everything I do. Don't get me wrong, I am still moving, doing chores, cooking, cleaning, and doing Foundation work, but every thing seems to require me to tap into energy resources I just don't have. 

I am posting two photos tonight. One is of Indie. I have had many cats in my life time, but ONLY Indie refuses to drink water from a bowl. She wants it right from the tap. She gets insistent about it too. Indie is a very vocal girl! As a Tortoise Shell cat, this breed is known for their torti-tude! She's got it alright. 

Meanwhile, my boy keeps track of me while I am working. He can stare at me through my office window. The meds seem to be helping Sunny's tummy. Thank goodness, because yesterday was a nightmare and I wanted to say..... the hell with chemo. But Mattie's journey taught me that there are many pre-med options that normally can be given to manage symptoms. So I am hoping that we can figure out the right balance for Sunny. But I am not happy with the way I need to reach Sunny's oncologist. Having to go through his many gatekeepers is exhausting and time consuming. Time and energy are not things I have in abundance. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Tuesday, May 24, 2022 -- Mattie died 660 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old and that day he was having a playdate with his best friend from preschool. Mattie and Zachary had a special bond, a bond that formed on the first day of school, and remained the entire two years that they were in preschool. This relationship however, continued into kindergarten, despite the fact that the boys went to different schools. Zachary was an outstanding friend to Mattie throughout his cancer journey, and even though their friendship (pre-cancer) involved a lot of gross motor movement, Zachary accommodated his style to fit Mattie's needs. In this particular photo (pre-cancer), the boys set up a train track from Mattie's bedroom into mine!

Quote of the day: Everyone has a voice inside that, if listened to, gives the best direction. ~ the Dog Cancer Survival Guide

Peter had to travel by plane for work today. So he got up very early. When I got up at 6:30am, I saw Peter had texted me that Sunny got sick last night and he tried cleaning things up, but he had to get ready to catch a flight. I jumped out of bed, made the bed, and then went downstairs immediately to examine the mess. 

In the middle of the night, Sunny did make his way up the stairs. I thought I heard him in my sleep, but since I am exhausted, I did not move. That was my first mistake. Sunny rarely comes upstairs, but he tried to alert us last night that he needed help. 

When I went downstairs this morning it looked like a crime scene in every room.  Not to mention the house smelled terribly. There was vomit and diarrhea everywhere. On floors, rugs, and even spattered on walls. Honestly how I did not get hysterical is beyond me. I am running on vapors! I am extremely tired from my daily routine and this morning's sight practically did me in. I wasn't mad at Sunny at all. I felt terrible for him, as he is a very clean dog. If he did this, it is because he is miserable. Fortunate for the vet, it was too early at that hour to call and scream at him. 

So I put chemo gloves on, as we can't touch Sunny's vomit, urine, and poop, and began cleaning. It took me 90 minutes to do this! Mind you I hadn't planned for this 90 minutes in my morning. Therefore, I was 90 minutes delayed getting showered, dressed, making breakfast and getting my dad up. I felt harried! 

After I dropped my dad off at his memory care center, I called the vet. I left a message and after about an hour, when I did not get a call back. I called again and this time demanded to talk to the clinical staff. We have now added another anti-emetic to Sunny's daily routine, which I am hoping helps with his nausea. We also started him on anti-diarrheal meds. Sunny is listless, doesn't want to eat, and smelled like a nightmare. 

Fortunately Sunny had a grooming appointment today with the mobile groomer. I honestly did not know if Sunny had the energy for this, but the groomer's sister is battling cancer and she had the right energy for Sunny today. I think between the new meds and a bath, Sunny felt better. But this oral chemo is a killer and it is knocking him out. The irony is this med is typically well tolerated in most dogs. Either case, Sunny will not be getting chemo tomorrow as planned, because he needs time to stabilize. 

This evening, this was our boy! Resting underneath the Japanese Maple. I was pleased to see him getting fresh air and he did not appear uncomfortable or in pain. 

But today's experience practically sent me over the deep end. I wanted to say, 'the hell with the chemo.' But I also know if Sunny has cancer, without treatment the sure result is death. 

Monday, May 23, 2022

Monday, May 23, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old and it was Mother's Day. We went to one of his favorite restaurants. Peter snapped a photo of us and as you can see Mattie was crossing his arms. It was meant to signify how much he loved me. A moment in time I will never forget. 

Quote of the day: One's best success comes after their greatest disappointments. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Last evening, lightning struck down in our area and it somehow affected our electricity. At around 5:30pm, we lost power. Ironically all of our neighbors had power. Thankfully we have a generator, but of course, it can't power the entire house. We went through the night on the generator. This morning the power company came to help us, and it turns out we were getting power from the street to the house. So the problem was in the house itself. Given the luck or lack there of we have had with this house, Peter and I were prepared for a nightmare of a problem. Our electrician came over and thankfully it was a loose wire that had to be adjusted and secured. Amazing how one wire can impact an entire system. By noon, we were off the generator and back on the grid. 

This afternoon, I took my parents to see my eye doctor. Their internist asked that I take them for an eye exam, specifically because my dad has a cataract in both eyes. My parents handled the eye drops and dilation much better than me. My dad particularly liked the doctor because he is Italian. They had a good rapport, and we learned that the doctor's family and my dad's family are both from Calabria. Small world. I found this doctor about a year ago. This is after I gave my long term ophthalmologist his walking papers! This doctor is humorous, down to earth, not an alarmist, and doesn't quickly move to surgery. Especially with someone with my eye issue.... narrow angle glaucoma. 

After the eye appointment, I took my parents out for an early dinner. I am quite sure the average person wouldn't entertain taking my dad out to eat. First of all, he eats VERY VERY fast. This is definitely his dementia. No matter what you tell him, he can't seem to slow down, and instead eating with him feels like a race. The professionals at my dad's memory care center have even acknowledged this issue, as they feel he eats way too fast and is a candidate for choking. I am not sure whether they have ever seen the food get stuck in his throat, like we have, but it isn't pretty. In addition to this issue, we have the bathroom problem. My joke is my dad is like a goose. It goes in and it quickly comes back out. Managing his bathroom needs could be a full time job. A job that would make most people sick to their stomach. All I know is I feel like I am on autopilot, constantly moving from one task or chore to the next. 

Meanwhile, Sunny had his second chemotherapy dosage today. He seems to have handled it better than Friday's dosage! We are premedicating him with all sorts of pills for stomach upset and nausea and I just hope this chemo has an affect on Sunny's tumors. 

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007. Mattie was five years old and this was a typical sight on our deck when the weather got warmer. Mattie loved playing with his hot wheel cars and that day did his own version of a car wash. All these vehicles got cleaned and were in a line up to dry out. You will notice a pinecone too in the center of the table. Mattie was into collecting pieces of nature and taking them home. We had quite a stick, shell, rock, and pinecone collection at one time. 

Quote of the day: Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment. ~ Evan Esar

On the weekends, I try to take my mom out and do something for an hour or two. If we don't do this, we are literally stuck at home all week, doing the same routine. It can get both of us down. We have an old school house near us from the 1800s. There is a community group which is trying to preserve this structure. Periodically they do events that help to raise funds. Today's was a community yard sale. This is something I used to do when I lived in Boston many many years ago. So today brought me back to those more simpler of days. 

While at the yard sale, Peter tried calling me because a close family friend was trying to get a hold of us to let us know their child died today. Naturally we have great empathy for this family and though it may be 13 years ago, the death of a child, always reminds me of my own Mattie's death. There was nothing peaceful about Mattie's death. It was gruesome, torture for hours, and the amount of pain meds being infused into him was simply outrageous. His hospital bed and room looked like a war zone. However, Mattie did not want to die. His body was giving out, but his spirit was with us. At the end of six hours of torture, Mattie was given a large dose of propofol, that induced a coma and death. When I am telling you it was horrific, I am not kidding. But Mattie flat lined in my arms at 7:15am on September 8. 

It is now 7:45pm, and lightning and thunder have been intense. So much so that we lost power. Then our generator stopped working. Thankfully we have the cell phone number of our electrician, who helped Peter restart the generator. While this was going on, my dad had to go to the bathroom. But his chair is operated by electricity. So he was in the fully reclined position and I couldn't move the chair down. So in the dark, I somehow got him out of the chair and to the bathroom. Meanwhile, who joined us in the powder room? Sunny! It was a full show with no end in sight. 

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2007. Mattie was five years old and that summer we took him to Pennsylvania to experience a theme park called Dutch Wonderland. It was at this park that Mattie went on his first rollercoaster ride. Unlike me, Mattie wanted to try this and turned out LOVING the excitement of the up and down motion. On this he and I differed greatly. 

At the nearby hotel we stayed at, the chef took a liking to Mattie. As Mattie loved his waffles and pancakes in the morning. So one morning, the chef gave Mattie his own hat! As you can see Mattie was beaming over this gift. 

Quote of the day: Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragement. ~ Joyce Meyer

This morning, I took my mom to the Tephra ICA Festival (formerly Northern Virginia Fine Arts Festival). This is an outdoor artisan festival with more than 200 artists, featuring unique, handmade works in the fields of fine art and craft. Though this is the 31st festival, this is the first time I ever attended. Mind you it was 90 degrees outside and intense humidity. After about an hour outside, I had to get my mom to the air conditioner car, as she isn't used to this type of heat. I thought the festival was fantastic! I enjoyed meeting many of the artists, hearing about their craft, and we even purchased a few things. 

https://www.tephraica.org/festival-artists

Since December of 2021, this has been a very familiar sight in my weekly routine. We dined at the Clyde's of Reston every Friday and Saturday. It has been a neighborhood restaurant for 31 years and only because the owner of the building is not renewing this restaurant's lease, that it is closing. Today was the last day the doors of this restaurant will be open. 

For us this restaurant was like walking into an episode of the TV show Cheers. Everyone knew who we were and truly treated us with kindness and as special guests.  

It is hard to believe this iconic place will no longer be around. I am not sure what I will miss the most, but my hunch is the PEOPLE! We know most of the wait staff by name, we know the assistant general manager, and most of the managers. They are aware of my role with my parents and I feel supported while there. Who can say that about a restaurant? Most places are too busy to truly get to know their customers, much less care about their lives. 

But this restaurant has a very special vibe and atmosphere. People genuinely seem happy to be working there and interacting with their customers. Seems to me a lot of this has to do with their outstanding and compassionate assistant GM. Anthony is in a class by himself. 

The restaurant is also auctioning off all of its collectibles. How do you like this life sized statue of Seabiscuit? 

For years this horse was the symbol of W.H. Stombock and Son Saddlery in Georgetown. The shop was located at the corner of Potomac and M Streets, NW, a short distance from the original Clyde's. Every morning the horse was wheeled out to the sidewalk where it became a familiar sight to the locals. When Stombock's closed its doors for good, Clyde's bought the famous horse.

Everything within the restaurant is being auctioned off. You can see what they are featuring, but I am stunned that even tables and chairs are going!

https://bid.alexandriaauctions.com/auction/the-clydes-of-reston-collection-may-25th-2022-310/bidgallery/

We said our good-byes to every one this evening and we know where several of the staff are going. Most likely we will follow them to their new Clyde's locations. But honestly, this place isn't replaceable. 

We have been going to many restaurants over the years, but no one treated us like Anthony. Anthony comped our entire meal tonight as a thank you for our loyalty to his restaurant. What can I say, other than I feel like this is another loss in my life. That may sound ridiculous, but my daily existence is thoroughly crazy, and when I find people who are supportive, understanding, and compassionate, I really am thankful and grateful, and want to be around them. But like everything else in my life, it was too good to be true, and once again, I will just have to adjust. 

Friday, May 20, 2022

Friday, May 20, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old and that weekend we took him to Sesame Street Place. Ironically I did not know that the park had a big water feature to it. So while there, we bought both Peter and Mattie swim suits, and Mattie was eager to experience slides and things with Peter.  This was NOT my thing, so I gladly followed along and took photos. THANKFULLY. 

Quote of the day: We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I couldn't fall asleep last night. Typically each night I take migraine medication to help keep my chronic daily migraines at bay. Or at least make the daily pain manageable. However, with all I have going on, I honestly couldn't remember whether I took my meds last night or not. However, when it was close to 1am, and I was still up and couldn't fall asleep, I knew! I then took my meds and fell asleep soon thereafter.

When Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, my sleep patterns changed. I learned, while living in the hospital with Mattie, not to sleep. I was lucky back then if I got two to three hours of sleep a night. How I functioned for over a year like this, I have NO IDEA. However, once Mattie died the anxiety and panic further set in, making sleeping close to impossible. Without sleep, my migraine condition worsens. Which is why I am grateful for migraine meds that both help with headaches and also make me sleepy. In fact, Peter used to be a terrible sleeper prior to Mattie getting cancer. Now he sleeps beautifully, and I am the one with the pervasive issue.

I got up at 6am today so that I could get myself ready, make breakfast, straighten up downstairs, and then get my dad up, showered, and dressed. I was taking my mom to the salon today in Georgetown, and in order to get there by 10am, that required me to perform a miracle. Of course in the  midst of my usual chaos, Sunny began chemotherapy this morning. Within two hours of receiving his dosage, Sunny was a mess. He was highly anxious, glued to my side, panting uncontrollably and he seemed to have issues using his hind legs. I called the vet in a total panic and gave it to them. I made them write a note to their ER department in case I have to bring Sunny in this weekend. 

Fortunately I think some of Sunny's gastro-intestinal meds and nausea meds have kicked in. I hope this is a trend, but honestly I am frazzled with daily tasks, demands, and one crisis after the other. While driving my mom to Georgetown, I have to say I was having a meltdown. I am not a crier, but a screamer. There is so much on my plate on a daily basis, that something has to give. 

Any case, while my mom was having her hair done, I got to get my nails done. I have seen this manicurist since 2009, I was introduced to her when Mattie died. Going out every two weeks to get my nails done, was how I initially began re-integrating back into the world after I lost Mattie. Needless to say, after seeing someone for 13 years, we developed a rapport and friendship. So having two hours away from home, away from my dad's questions, constant demands, his bowel issues, and other problems, was very welcomed. Of course no good deed goes unpunished. Coming home from the salon, I picked my dad up at the memory care center. As soon as we walked into the house, he had an IBS attack and he was covered in poop. I had quite the clean up job to face and I assure you this isn't an isolated problem. It is a problem I face practically daily. 

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006, Mattie was four years old and that Memorial Day weekend we took him to Sesame Street Place in Pennsylvania. I heard about this theme park from Mattie's preschool. Since Mattie was a huge Elmo fan, we had a feeling he would love it. Anyone who has ever watched Sesame Street, probably recognizes this green door and staircase from the show. At the park they recreated this scene from the show and Mattie posed for a photo. Mind you we bought Mattie ONE Elmo balloon, but a life sized Elmo walked up to Mattie and gave him the second balloon! Needless to say... Mattie was thrilled. 

Quote of the day: When people say they couldn't do what you do, take that as a compliment. They are telling you how very strong and how very special you are. ~ AgingCare.Com

This morning, Sunny went to see the vet bright and early. I am sure he was besides himself as went through most of the day without food. The oncologist called me around 1:30pm. After another urine analysis and an ultrasound, we have no clear cut information. The whole thing is very frustrating. What I did learn was that Sunny's adrenal gland mass has increased in size in less than two weeks. I think we have ruled out cancer in Sunny's spleen and liver. Sunny may have a mass in his spleen, but it doesn't appear to be cancerous. As for the bladder, I believe they think it is a polyp. But again, we can't be certain of this because we haven't taken a tissue sample. 

So why not get a tissue sample of the adrenals, spleen, and bladder? Well it isn't that simple to get such biopsies. In fact, the oncologist told me that getting a sample of the adrenals is actually a complicated surgery that can lead to death. NOT what I wanted to hear, nor do I want to gamble with Sunny's life. So that is OUT OF THE QUESTION. To get a sample of Sunny's bladder mass would require a traumatic catherization. The name of the procedure should give you some indication of the complications, such as rupturing of the bladder. So I had a difficult decision to make today. Mind you I was having this conversation with the oncologist while driving on 495, our Capital Beltway/Highway, to take my parents out to lunch. 

My choice was to do something radical, which would mean removing the spleen, adrenals, and the bladder mass, or do more testing, which has potential negative consequences which I mentioned above, or start oral chemotherapy. Frankly I have a big issue starting chemotherapy when we don't have a definitive diagnosis. But I do not feel like I have a choice, as I refused to elect to put Sunny through such invasive surgeries that could risk his life. Clearly something is growing quickly in his adrenals and something has got to be done before we get metastasis, if we are indeed dealing with cancer. 

Needless to say, when the oncologist and techs talked to me about chemotherapy, they could tell I was NOT a novice. I told them Sunny is taking anti-emetics (anti-nausea) meds daily, we are not waiting to see if he develops such side effects, instead we will prophylactically medicate Sunny in hopes he doesn't get nauseous. Tonight I had to order chemotherapy gloves, because we will need them to administer his oral chemo three times a week, and I can't pick up urine, poop, or vomit without wearing gloves. It brought me back to my time with Mattie. I spent about an hour reading the materials from the vet, trying to make sense out of all his meds, and of course I am already balancing a ton, and don't want to mix anything up regarding Sunny's care plan. When you read about the side effects of this oral chemo, the common ones are diarrhea, anorexia, lethargy, and vomiting. Considering that he appears to be a happy camper now, the whole idea of treating him is hard to wrap my head around. 

On another note, while at lunch today, the manager of the restaurant came over to talk with us. Since we only go to three or four restaurants, these places have gotten to know us well. The manager told my parents that they are lucky to have me. What he did not know is that my parents live with me. He just couldn't get over this. He said I am a living "Jesus Christ." I laughed, but he said he has observed how well I care for my parents and not everyone would do this. I find this absolutely fascinating, how people are observing me! This happened to me whenever I cruised with my parents too. Almost every cruise, people would come up to me mid-cruise to comment on how well I care for my parents. Mind you I did not know these people, nor did I know they were watching! 

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old and he was smiling because it was around that time we transitioned him from a toddler bed into an official twin bed. Mattie was thrilled and he loved the TV show, Bob the Builder. So I got him Bob the Builder bed sheets and the happiness on his face was his approval of the sheets and moving into a big boy bed. The wooden bed frame also has an interesting story. Peter's maternal grandfather made this bed frame for Peter's mother when she was a child. So in essence the frame is a piece of family history. 

Quote of the day: Be aware when distractions come your way. You’ll know it’s a distraction when you stop doing what you’re supposed to be doing and find yourself pondering things that have no value. ~ Beverly R. Imes

I rarely have distractions anymore. Today for about two hours however, my mom and I went to the mall, shopped around, interacted with people and also had frozen yogurt. That may not sound like an enormous thing, but to me it allowed my mind not to focus on work, caregiving, or another chore. 

Of course I only had this distraction after countless tasks were completed. I got my dad, washed, dressed, and had breakfast. I then took him to his memory care center. After dropping him off, I went to the post office and mailed all the Foundation raffle winners their items. While at the post office, I noticed two small children running around and unattended. The post office near me is large inside, and therefore from my perspective one should keep a close eye on one's child. I made a mental note of what I was seeing, but waited in line. After the couple and their children left the post office, all the staff were a flutter. They too were very concerned about the disregard the parents had for their two children. Either these are very trusting individuals or simply down right clueless. Which makes me pause and wonder why people are granted healthy children if they really don't take the time to appreciate and protect them?! It is a rhetorical question, as I was very protective of Mattie, and he still was diagnosed with cancer and died.  

Later this afternoon, I took Sunny for a walk. While walking him a big dog, that I did not recognize, came across the street to greet us. This dog had NO supervision. Though it wasn't my responsibility to make sure this dog was safe, I took it upon myself. I helped the dog cross back over the road and then I tracked down his owner who was inside and clueless. 

Tomorrow, Sunny goes back to the vet for another ultrasound and urine analysis. If the ultrasound isn't helpful, he then undergoes a traumatic catherization. Basically where they use guided imaginary to capture a cell sample in the bladder. It has to be done correct, otherwise I am told Sunny's bladder could rupture. Good GOD! The positive news is that Sunny's spleen and liver pathology results came back with NO Evidence of Disease, meaning no cancer was able to be detected. I will take that news. Now the focus is on the bladder and trying to understand the inflammation there, the mass, and why Sunny is urinating blood.