Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Tuesday, July 2, 2024 -- Mattie died 770 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2007. Mattie was five years old and as you can see he was happy about his big kiddie pool on our deck. We had a smaller pool the year before, but Mattie saw this one and wanted it. We did not give into all of his requests, but since Mattie loved outdoor time and playing in water, this seemed like the perfect gift! Literally this pool took up almost half of our deck. But if it entertained Mattie and he enjoyed it, I went with it. I just loved that smile!!!

Quote of the day: You flew off with the wings of my heart and left me flightless. ~ Stelle Atwater

I spent the morning working on bills, legal issues, and then picking up sticks and branches in the backyard. We had a wind storm the other night, and WOW I filled up an entire bin of garbage with debris. I have to say that I am thoroughly exhausted mentally and physically. Any of the issues I am dealing with would be enough to kill a person, but I am managing so much horror all at one time. I have no idea what gets me up in the morning or how or why I function. This alone could be a case study! 

This afternoon, I took my parents out for frozen yogurt. This is something my dad enjoys! Of course when I get to the store, it is a feat. I have a walker, jackets, a blanket, and tote bag in tow. When I get inside, I get my parents seated. I cover my mom with a blanket and they are both wearing heated jackets (YES even in the summer, because of the air conditioning). Then I go and juggle three cups of yogurt and get all the toppings they want. I mention this because no outing is simple! I do a juggling act daily. 

I snapped a photo of a mimosa tree that we passed today. Why? Because this reminds me of summer and my maternal grandmother. The house that I grew up in NY, had a mimosa tree out front. It was one of my grandmother's favorites. So whenever I see these beautiful pink flowers, I am transported back to childhood, happier times, and fond memories of my grandmother. I can even recall the incredible fragrance of these blossoms. 

Look what greeted me at my front door today! Thank you Cheryl! Cheryl is my cousin through marriage. If I never married Peter, and I am not sure our paths would have crossed because we live in completely different states. Yet Cheryl is one of those gifts that life has brought me, and I am very grateful. We have never met, and yet we understand and appreciate one another. 

Chocolate brings me happiness. I always loved chocolate, but once Mattie was diagnosed, chocolate became my drug of choice. Literally within the hospital unit, I would take out a canister of chocolate frosting and EAT IT! Needless to say, the past few weeks, I have consumed a lot of chocolate. 

My mother-in-law sent me this photo today. It is of a laced cap hydrangea in her backyard. Why did she send this to me? Because years ago we traveled to the Outer Banks, NC together. While there, we toured the Elizabethan Gardens. The Gardens featured these beautiful plants. So when Barbara returned to Boston, she purchased one and planted it. The point of this photo is it is a reminder of our connection, when my marriage was intact, and that I should never forget that what I experienced and feel is real!

Three things I am grateful for:

1. Having the ability to think clearly, tackle problems I have no idea how to address, and yet find a way to get things done!
2. The pink mimosa and have been raised by an amazing grandmother.
3. Family and friends thinking of me and showing support in all ways.