Friday, August 23, 2024

Friday, August 23, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. Mattie had been diagnosed with cancer a week before this photo was taken. Peter, Mattie, our neighbor JP and his dog JJ went for a walk together at Scott's Run nature center. The only one alive in this photo is JJ, the dog. Just hard to believe. Mattie always wanted a dog and though Sunny entered our lives after Mattie died, Mattie got to experience the beauty of having a connection with an animal through his bond with JJ. 

Mattie and JJ practically grew up together and when Mattie died, JJ was depressed for weeks. He didn't eat and he would come down to our front door and just sit there waiting for his buddy. At one point when I let JJ inside, he grabbed one of Mattie's sandals and took it back to his crate. There it remained. Anyone who thinks animals don't feel or grieve, would be sorely mistaken. 

Quote of the day: Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t. ~ Stephen King

My dad was stable enough today to go back to his memory care program. So I have learned two days of around the clock Tylenol and Advil works for him. This is good to know because he has another procedure just like this on September 18. The first day is a killer, but I now understand his signs and symptoms. Because he clearly can't report out!

In addition to everything else I am balancing, I have a neighbor who has been doing a massive house renovation. This has been going on a year now, with NO end in sight. Trucks show up at 6:30am and 7am, and the noise and chaos ensue throughout the day. For a year, I have picked up debris, have experienced my driveway being blocked, and other inconsiderate stuff. Last night, I found this big trailer sitting in the front yard. It isn't on my property, but nonetheless, I don't like seeing it on the grass. Neighbors all around me are very upset and several have called the police on many occasions. If Mattie were alive, I am quite sure he'd be fascinated by every truck and vehicle that comes on the property. Unfortunately I do not share Mattie's same fascination. As I always say, I moved from the city to escape noise and congestion, and then I got this. 

This evening while cooking dinner, I pulled out the cookbook Peter made for me when we moved to the house. I have many favorite recipes and when we lived in the city, I did not have things organized and in one place. Peter corrected that for me and when I look at this book, I wonder JUST WHAT WENT WRONG? None of this makes sense to me, and my one strength is understanding people and human dynamics. Which is why all of this perplexes me, but like a dog with a bone, I will eventually unearth what is going on and connect the dots. 

Fortunately over the course of the three years that we have lived here, I always paid attention to what Peter was doing in the yard. This evening, I went outside, got up on a large ladder, and cut back that climbing hydrangea. I should have taken a before photo, but I didn't. Imagine this thing climbing up the chimney and attaching itself all over the brick and our windows. I fixed that tonight as I know this isn't good for the structure of the house. 

After dinner and cleaning up, I went back outside in the dark. I watered some plants and figured out how to replace outdoor spot light bulbs. By the time I am done, I think I could write a how to tutorial of how to survive and maintain a house when your husband of 36 years leaves you.