Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2004. Mattie was almost two years old. I snapped this photo because I loved Mattie's whimsy! He put on his dad's baseball hat and what I love is Mattie had no idea that the hat would cover his entire face! Even not seeing Mattie's face, I would know immediately it was him... Mattie's telltale sign was in the photo.... his sippy cup! A sippy cup was always in tow regardless of the season or the weather!
Quote of the day: Anxiety is a meteor shower of what-ifs. ~ Max Lucado
This morning after getting my dad ready and once his physical therapist arrived, I got on the phone with Verizon. We have been having trouble with the cable TV and connectivity. Either TV or the internet being out in my house is a catastrophe! Though many of my neighbors have Verizon, I tend to be the one that always has the problem! I literally am not kidding, as I know our regional manager and three techs. One of the techs I refer to as my Verizon angel. I have all of their cell phone numbers! Why? Because my issue arises every six months. It is almost like clock work. I can call the 1-800 number, but my issues can never be diagnosed and fixed remotely. So literally while talking on the phone with a Verizon tech support person today, I was also text messaging my Verizon Angel. The Angel happened to be in my neighborhood and within 8 minutes he arrived.
I have been pushing off the inevitable. When we moved into our house, we created a network of EERO extenders so that we could get Wi-Fi around the entire house. But in all reality, it has never solved my connectivity problems. I can be on Zoom calls and literally my internet connections just drop. This week it was beyond frustrating, as people were talking to me and I couldn't hear them and they couldn't see or hear me! So when I mentioned this to the Angel today, he said to me.... it's time. That may not sound like a big deal, but changing from Eero to other extenders changes the connections to certain things in the house. The first thing he did was to take my shared drive off line. He prepared me for this and he could tell my anxiety level was through the roof. Literally I was so afraid of losing data (yes I have backed a lot of it up), but I have used this shared drive for over a decade, and it is my electronic life. As the shared drive went off line, I literally had to sit down, look out the window, and breath. Once the Angel found out I was divorced, because remember he knew me as married, his patience and compassion increased. I have to get things up and be self-reliance because I no longer have my built in tech support at home, and remember technology hasn't been my strong suit.
The Angel got the TVs up and operational again and installed the extenders. However, he was called away to another job. Of course after he left, many of the electronic things in the house that need to be on Wi-Fi were having trouble recognizing the new extenders. I literally thought I was going to jump out the window. While dealing with one issue after the other, I was managing my dad's multiple bathroom accidents and cooking and doing laundry. It is after 7pm, and I literally am a bundle of nerves, at one point today I was shaking from fear. All I can say is when will it get easier?
While chatting with the Angel today, he was telling me about all his friends who are getting divorced in their mid to late life. He said that most men are afraid to leave their wives when they hit their fifties and from his experience it isn't the men who want a divorce but the women. He cited many examples today and the emotional toll it has taken on several of his friends. He said that he has observed his friends feeling so overwhelmed that some even considered suicide or harming the other person. In a world of confusion now a days (look no further than what is reported on the news) it is clear that for some life is unimportant and dispensable. Though I do not share these values, I also can understand without question why someone could feel this low, so empty and so desperate that no other options seem available.
Any case at the moment, I have TV and the internet! For that and having a Verizon Angel, I am grateful!
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