Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2002 on our balcony. It is one of my favorite pictures because it captures us in front of this beautiful oak tree. This oak was important to me, because each spring as Mattie would bring tent caterpillars home from school and place them in a jar to watch metamorphosis at its best, we would turn to this tree's leaves to feed the caterpillars. Mattie is no longer with me, but this tree is, and it will always remind me of our times together.
Quote of the day: This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more they possess. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
This afternoon, I went to visit Ann's mom, Mary. Mary had a hard night yesterday and I was up late text messaging Ann back and forth while she was sitting with Mary in her care facility. Though Mary was awake, she wasn't up to talking this afternoon, so I spent some time chatting with Mary's caregiver. I believe this is good stimulation for Mary to hear talking, to be oriented to what is happening outside of her room in the world, and to know that people want to engage with her. Before I left Mary today, I sat next to her, and said that I think she is a special lady, and if anyone has the strength to make it passed last night, it will be her. With that she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. No words were necessary. With Mary, I see Rilke's quote come to life, for it is with giving love, I find that I do possess the ability to love and care more.
I spent the rest of the day working intensely on Symposium items and then this evening I returned to Georgetown University Hospital for a parent advisory board meeting. I will spare you the details on the meeting, but several of the parents on the board will be speaking at the Foundation's Symposium next week. These are special ladies who have incredible insights and perspectives to share. In addition to these moms, one of Mattie's nurses and Mattie's chaplain was at the meeting. These are women who saw me at my worst in the hospital and therefore it is very easy for me to share feelings and fears with them.
Maybe because it is a Tuesday (the day I associate with Mattie's death), maybe because I was actually at the hospital today having a meeting in the childlife playroom (a very important room for Mattie), or maybe because I am on overload with my own physical concerns that with Mattie's chaplain I began to cry. You should know that Mattie's chaplain was one of the people with us the morning Mattie was dying. She sat with us for four hours watching horror unfold in Mattie's hospital room. So when I cry, she understands very well what I have lived through. It is not only understanding it through my words, but she observed it for herself.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a wonderful blog link sent to us today by the Dean of Georgetown's Medical School. We met Ray (Stephen Mitchell) while Mattie was undergoing cancer treatment. Ray's son was in the hospital at the same time as Mattie, and many times we ran into Ray in the PICU. Ray understood the plight of a parent and related to many of our fears and concerns, because despite being a medical doctor, when he was caring for his son, he was a parent first. What struck me about this posting is that Mattie made an impression on Ray. As only my Mattie could do!!!!
Who gave the Dean such a Hair Brained Idea???
https://blogs.commons.georgetown.edu/medthread/2012/03/13/3158/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
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