Thursday, December 31, 2020Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. That day Mattie received a visit from two Marines (distributing Toys for Tots) and his best friend, Zachary. Mattie and Zachary became instantaneous friends on the first day of preschool. They had a special chemistry and even though Zachary was used to actively playing with Mattie, once Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, Zachary intuitively understood that he had to play differently with Mattie. He never skipped a beat and never made Mattie feel inferior or disabled. A lot to learn from these two friends. In any case, when the Marines came into Mattie's room, Zachary was equally intrigued and he and Mattie enjoyed the experience.
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- Number of people diagnosed with the virus: 19,944,307
- Number of people who died from the virus: 345,316
As 2020 comes to a close, all I can say is once again I have seen how fragile life is and how so much of life is out of our control. Sure I could be talking about COVID-19, but my particular lens is focused upon my dad's dramatic health decline. At times I still have trouble processing how my dad could go from living independently one month, to the state he is in now. The decline was rapid.
I suspected my dad had early stage dementia for the last 4-5 years. Whenever, I mentioned my concerns to my parents, they weren't taken seriously. I even tried emailing their doctor about my concerns. He neither responded nor did anything about it. However, in May of this year, my dad was a mess. He lost 30 pounds, had a kidney stone embedded in his ureter (requiring surgery), and a urinary tract infection that turned to sepsis. He was hospitalized for a week and during that time was given a CT scan with contrast. My dad had an allergic reaction to the contrast and developed uncontrollable hiccups. Hiccups for two weeks straight. The doctor put him on Thorazine, an anti-psychotic. This drug had no impact on the hiccups, however, I believe it contributed to his confusion and delirium. It was me who challenged the doctor by phone and encouraged him to STOP the drug and instead try Baclofen, a muscle relaxant. Which in two hours stopped the hiccups. Nonetheless, my dad entered the hospital in May physically ill, but when he was discharged we weren't only dealing with physical impairments but significant cognitive decline. We held out hope that this decline would reverse itself. But now I understand this will never happen.
My dad was always a bright, insightful, sharp, and perceptive person. The person in front of us now is not this person. For example, today my dad asked me where Peter celebrated Christmas. My dad thought that Peter was in Boston for Christmas. Those of you reading the blog know that Peter was in Los Angeles with me for Christmas. My dad has NO MEMORY of this. An event that happened only a week ago. I reminded my dad about Christmas and told him that I got him showered and dressed Christmas day. He had NO MEMORY of that either. I mentioned this to him because he is very concerned that his caregivers aren't coming tomorrow, since it's a holiday. So I reminded my dad that I took care of him on Christmas and in fact, it was me who created the whole morning routine..... getting up, showered, dressed, breakfast, cognitive brain exercises, walking in the neighborhood for twenty minutes, etc.
I have also noticed that my dad can't keep track of when he ate. For example, he can have breakfast with us at the table. Then we do his cognitive exercises and walking routine. When he gets back from the walking routine the past two mornings, he asked me..... did I have breakfast yet? He can neither remember eating nor does he have a feeling of satiation. Today my dad had a GI doctor appointment. Given my dad was hospitalized with an impacted colon in June 2020, it is important to keep these follow up appointments. I told my dad that we were going to leave for the doctor at 10:30am. He can no longer retain information. Instead, every 15 minutes he asked me when the doctor's appointment was and when we were leaving for the appointment. Mind you we have a white erase board near his chair that lists his daily schedule. The constant questions and repeating of myself can be exasperating, but I know he isn't doing this on purpose. So I naturally answer his questions and try to alleviate his anxiety.
What I was pleased about was my dad got a good doctor report. The doctor commented on how physically better my dad looks from when he saw him in June. He has gained back his weight and his coloring is good. While I am here, I make sure both my mom and dad have a very balanced and full meal mid-day, and given that my dad doesn't eat left overs, I am cooking something new each day.
In the midst of everything else I am balancing, I went to the grocery store today. I have gotten to know the store's manager. In fact, she got to know Peter too. Beatriz knows both of our names. When she saw me standing on line today, she waved me over to the self check out stand. I typically don't like doing self check out with vegetables, because I always find dealing with the register difficult. Nonetheless, she encouraged me to try it and she stood by my side as I rang up a vegetable. I got the hang of it quickly. In any case, she cheered for me when I was done and told me that Peter is a wiz at this, and she knew I could do it too. I absolutely love her. She says she loves her job and working with people. It shows. It makes such a difference to interface with someone who smiles, who wants to help you, and is so professional. I wish I could take her home as NO ONE in my Safeway even says boo to me.
