Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2002. Mattie was a month old and getting some fresh air with me outside on our deck. If you look closely in the background of this picture, you will see Patches. She was also sitting outside with us on a white deck chair. I love the facial expression that Peter captured of Mattie. This was what Mattie looked like after being fed, he was very calm and mellow. That moment was short lived typically, but these were moments I distinctively remember.
Quote of the day: Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts. ~ Winston Churchill
It's the courage to continue that counts! What a brilliant quote, and though I do not think Churchill had grief in mind when he stated this, I believe it so aptly applies. Since it takes great courage to continue on after losing a child. When you look at the picture above and see a happy and healthy baby, it simply perplexes me how Mattie could then develop Osteosarcoma. When life doesn't bring you what you expect or hope for, disillusionment can easily settle in. Feeling disillusioned and with a lack of hope, can lead to a whole host of other emotions and problems. Which is why reflecting on Churchill's quote is so meaningful to me.
Despite feeling debilitated physically and emotionally, I got myself together today and took a walk with Peter by the Potomac River and then we had lunch out. Sometimes at home I feel so overwhelmed that I am unable to eat, and therefore getting out and in a different environment, enables me to change my mindset, which improves my appetite.
But as this evening settles in, I find that I am contending with a terrible migraine and really can't focus on anything, including writing the blog. So I will stop writing for tonight and hope that tomorrow is a better day.