Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Mattie was doing physical therapy in the hallway of the PICU. Naturally though, with Mattie therapy was NEVER boring. This particular day, Linda was playing ABBA's Dancing Queen, and literally all of us were moving about. Even people passing us by couldn't help but smile. Mattie brought a level of fun and humor to a very serious place. In fact, one woman came up to me about an hour after our performance and told me that we cheered her up, just hearing the music and watching Mattie's buddies singing and dancing through the hallway. I have no doubt the PICU most likely hasn't and will never experience a force like Mattie again. Pictured in the front row from left to right is Meg (one of Mattie's favorite childlife interns), Mattie (who is beating on a drum), Brandon (Mattie's best hospital buddy), and in the second row is Jenny (one of Mattie's art therapists), Kathleen (one of Mattie's favorite HEM/ONC nurses), Mary (one of Mattie's favorite childlife volunteers), Vicki, and Elizabeth (a social worker intern, who was kind enough to make an ABBA CD for Mattie to play at the Hospital).
Poem of the day:
What Is It Like To Die? by Alice J. Wisler
What is it like to give up the body
so the soul can soar high
Far to that place of complete solace
no human eye begins to see
What is it like to be with the One
who holds the sunset in the sky?
What is it like to see the Giver of Life
when your body has breathed its last
Precious child, born from my body
what is it like to die?
Engulfed in seas of sadness
death has crushed my core
But for you, a triumphant occasion—
beauty in glistening warmth
Freedom from pain, exempt from sorrow
continuous Love and Light
Standing where the stone holds your name
my eyes scan the heavens
Shaded from the answer I cannot grasp
what is it like to die?
I have the pleasure of telling you about Mattie's tree dedication ceremony on the St. Stephen's/St. Agnes lower school campus today. However, before I share this special moment with you, I wanted to highlight the wonderful kid activities that were offered at this year's Walk. Particularly, we would like to thank Debbie Keefe and Sue Whitney for coordinating these creative, fun, and memorable activities. They knew Mattie was very fond of butterflies, so they had a whole tent dedicated to butterfly crafts. The kids had the opportunity to make their own butterfly houses, and then as a group they were able to create water colored butterflies to hang on a collective tree. That was only one of the stations available to the kids. In another tent there was face painting and balloon animals, and in the field there were old fashioned games. Seven of them to be exact, to match the 7 highest summits that Sean Swarner had climbed on each continent. I hope you enjoy these pictures!
Left: This year's Walk theme was "No challenge is too great, no climb too high." Therefore in honor of Sean's presence at our Walk, we decided to have a climbing wall for kids. This wall was 26 feet tall. This was a very popular attraction!
Right: In this picture Meredith, one of our great SSSAS volunteers, was placing a hand tatoo on a little girl.
Right: In this picture, you can see our George Washington University volunteers hard at work. They were in the "butterfly crafts" tent, and were helping children make a butterfly and write a wish on it to post on the tree.
Left: Here is a picture of the butterfly wishes attached to the tree.
Right: You can see Debbie, one of our kid activity coordinators overseeing the kids, and clearly this young fellow in front of her is fashioning his balloon hat.
Left: This was just one example of the seven field games that Debbie and Sue created for the Walk. These activities kept the kids busy, entertained, and happy! I have had many parents write to me after the Walk was over, letting me know that their children had such a good time and they want to know when the next Walk will be.
At 4:30pm, Peter and I had the wonderful opportunity to attend Mattie's tree dedication ceremony. A beautiful oak tree was selected and Peter and I want to thank the second grade (the grade Mattie would have been in) parents for their generosity in making this tree a reality. Particularly we want to thank Ann Bailey for spearheading this event, and naturally the school for understanding the importance of such an event.
Bob Weiman (aka the Magic Man), the head of the lower school, and I joked with each other today, because over the course of the last two weeks we have seen each other three times. Which is quite nice. Bob worked hard on developing the beautiful program for today's dedication. It was a very nice ceremony in which Joan Holden, the head of the school, delivered a beautiful greeting, as well as Bob Weiman, and Rev. Beales. Rev. Beales presided over the ceremony, and even had us water the tree as a symbolic blessing. This is a tree that Mattie would have loved. Oak trees were one of Mattie's favorites. For two reasons. The first is they produced acorns, and Mattie loved acorns and particularly loved looking for the perfect acorn with its attached cap. The second reason was Mattie loved to collect tent caterpillars, and the only leaves these fellows like to eat are oak leaves. So it seems quite fitting that an oak tree be placed on the campus as a remembrance of Mattie in a spot Mattie loved to play in (right near the sandbox).
After the ceremony, there was a reception with cookies and lemonade which the children enjoyed. Campbell, one of Mattie's closest kindergarten friends came up to talk to me during the reception. In fact, when I saw Campbell at his house for the first time last week, he came up to hug me and began talking. Naturally I remember Campbell from two years ago, and it is amazing to see his growth and maturity in two short years. Campbell wanted me to know that he watched the grounds crew planting Mattie's tree this week. He explained how the tree was carried to its spot, and how it was planted. He then went on to tell me that he is letting everyone at recess know this is Mattie's tree, and Mattie was his friend. Campbell also explained to me that he observed another memorial plaque on campus this week. He told me that a boy named, Tim, lost his life in the 1970s, and he asked me if I had seen that tree. I told him I hadn't, but clearly these plaques had made an impression on Campbell. In fact, Campbell's entire conversation made a huge impression on me. What Campbell is showing me is that children are very aware of their surroundings, they understand the concept of death to some degree, and can also reflect on the fact that Mattie is no longer a part of their lives, and yet they wonder what does that mean? Does it mean that Mattie is still their friend? Where is Mattie and is he happy? Does he feel lonely? These are just some of the questions I have heard children discussing this year. Which tells us, children do need to process the loss and if we do not help guide this discussion they will come to their own conclusions, which could actually be worse than the actual facts (which are bad enough!).
As Bob was delivering his message during the program, I was watching the children and their reactions. Bob spoke about Mattie's energy and interests, and I could see several children nodding their heads because they agreed with Bob's observations and messages.
Our friend Alison came up to me to chat at the reception. Alison always seems to find just the right little memento to capture the sentiment of the day. Alison handed me a bag. Inside the bag were wishing stones. On the stones was written, "miracle." In light of the name of our Foundation, I thought these stones were meaningful and clever. In fact, I can almost see us giving out these stones as we visit families in the hospital. Goodness knows when battling cancer, you hope for a miracle. I think it would be very symbolic for a family to be given such a stone to carry with them through treatment. The stones made me reflect on the "hope" necklace Alison gave me in September of 2008. Alison, I believe, gave me this necklace on her first trip to visit us in the hospital. She literally took the necklace off from around her neck and gave it to me. Most likely because I needed a great deal of hope to make it through the battle ahead. That necklace meant a lot to me, so much so, that each day Mattie battled cancer, I wore this necklace. I only stopped wearing it once Mattie died. I told Alison that I need to give her the necklace back. You see Alison's middle name is Hope, and therefore, I believe the necklace should go back to its righftul owner. However, Alison said that I should hold onto the necklace and give it to another parent who is battling pediatric cancer. I am giving her idea some thought, and perhaps "hope" is a symbol our Foundation can pass along to other moms. I would like to share some wonderful pictures of today, so you can see what the tree and the gathering looked it.
Left: Here is a picture of Mattie's oak tree. It is about 12 feet tall right and it has a memorial plaque in front of it.
Right: Pictured from left to right is Peter, Joan Holden, Vicki, Bob Weiman (notice he is wearing a red tie, most likely because it was Mattie's favorite color), and Rev. Beales.
Left: Peter and I watering Mattie's tree as Rev. Beales was delivering a blessing.
Right: The children also got to water the tree. In this picture you can see Mattie's buddy, Kazu, watering the tree.
Left: The reception table. Notice there are butterfly napkins, beautiful programs, and purple petunias (a flower I happen to love).
Right: I gave my camera to Mary today. Mary was Mattie's technology teacher, and over the course of Mattie's illness, Mary became an integral part of our lives. Mary snapped this moment today in which myself, Junko (Kazu's mom), and Kazuko (Junko's mom), were standing in silence. Periodically crying. Though this event was special and had many moments of happiness, there was also great sadness over why we needed the event in the first place. Junko and Kazuko understood and sat in silence sharing my pain. Not an easy place to be, but I felt their genuine love and concern.
Left: The children enjoying the refreshments!
Left: Pictured with Mattie's tree is Joan Holden and Vicki
Right: Pictured with Mattie's tree is Kazuko, Vicki, Mary, and Junko
Left: Pictured with Mattie's tree are Christine (Campbell's mom), Vicki, and Alison.
Right: Peter and I together in front of Mattie's tree.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a message from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "Thanks for the lovely pictures of Mattie and Abigail. True friendship is such a precious gift; often we take it for granted. It doesn't always come in expected packages; oftentimes I wonder at the combination of people who are friends and those who look like they should be but are not. I appreciated your questions about resiliency. I often wonder about that myself. I see students from many places, often with terrible situations in their backgrounds and yet, they are upbeat and positive that things will work out well in the end. Others, with everything one would ask for, family support, sufficient funds, good health, seem to have all kinds of issues, often self generated. It's hard to know what makes the difference. I agree with you that Mattie's story has spread far beyond our expectations and has impacted so many people. He was a very special little boy and inspired many but it is also your ability to tell his story that has moved it past the local group of people who knew him. You and Peter have managed to bring Mattie's story out in a way that touches the hearts of people who have never had a chance to interact with Mattie. That's a special gift as well. During practice, the instructor reminded us about both masculine and feminine energy within each of us and the need to balance them to be successful. I think you and Peter are a wonderful example of that balance in your work and another reason why the foundation will be successful. As I practice today, I send you the energy to keep working on that balance. I hold you gently in my thoughts."
