Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

March 15, 2012

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was 10 months old and by that point zooming around in his "tot wheels." Mattie could navigate corners, hallways, and tight spaces with ease. Mattie typically would follow me into the kitchen and some how he figured out how to open the refrigerator door while at the same time sitting in something with wheels. To me that was remarkable, but he was motivated and intrigued by the refrigerator, all its parts, and contents inside.




Quote of the day: Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use. ~ Ruth Gordon

I came across this quote tonight and it just spoke to me. It captures how I am feeling. The list of my frustrations associated with today are TOO numerous to mention and they also wouldn't be appropriate for all audiences to hear. So therefore, like a good 20% of other things I feel, I don't write about it. But to plan this Symposium took and takes great courage. It is unlike any other conference or event that I have previously planned and I think one reason for this maybe because the event is occurring on Capitol Hill. A place that has so many regulations it is hard to believe at times that it can function. Yet in order to have an event there, I need to follow certain guidelines which impacts our Foundation's flexibility and at times creativity.

In addition, I got a follow up phone call from my internist today who shared her thoughts about my medical condition. Thoughts which I did not necessarily agree with. I understand the uncertainty of my issue.... I have several masses inside of me that can't be biopsied. I get it, but I also get that radical surgeries and jumping to conclusions are also not wise. Whatever I decide, it will have consequences, and I absolutely despise when a doctor tells me what I should be doing without having the foggiest notion of the psychological ramifications of this suggestion. As if the psychological impact of a decision doesn't even need to be weighed! This call set me over the edge, and again it made me reflect on tonight's quote. I try very hard to become educated about my medical health and not get swept away by quick medical pronouncements. Mattie's case taught me very well. I learned that I have to ask questions, and when things don't make sense, ask even more questions. In addition, the scary part is doctors do not know everything as it comes to your health and they certainly do not have all the solutions to every medical problem. If they did, Mattie would still be alive today. So I am left to advocate for myself, make sense out of what I am hearing and try to make the most sound judgments possible. 

Balancing the Foundation work and this medical issue right now is overwhelming and as I told Mattie's chaplain on Tuesday night, there are times I feel like I am going to crack up. Or times I feel like I am all alone in this process, and with my feelings of loss (naturally Peter is right alone side me with this, but we can't always process our feelings together, it is too real for both of us). What it comes down to is I have feelings others can't always get or handle, and therefore, this year I have noticed that I have stopped talking to my friends about these feelings. I am a verbal person and an introspective person, and what I must conclude is that parents who have lost a child are really at the end of the day are left to suffer inside. Naturally that may sound harsh, but based on the day I have had, this is as nicely as I feel I can put it.  

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