Sunday, May 13, 2018
Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old. That day, Peter and Mattie took me out to brunch for Mother's Day. We always went to a restaurant that Mattie liked and this particular restaurant handed out flowers or a plant to every mom. Frankly there is NO WAY you can get me to a restaurant on Mother's Day now. For multiple reasons. One, I do not like seeing moms out and about with their children celebrating and I also don't want to be asked the question.... are you a mom?! Depending on my mood, there are a whole host of answers I can give you.
Quote of the day: A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path. ~ Agatha Christie
I begin most Mother's Day blog postings with the origin of Mother's Day (below). Mainly because our mainstream and rose colored world has striped down the history of this holiday. Mother's Day is all about flowers, cards, and gifts. But this is NOT why the holiday was created. It was instead created as a day of remembrance for a mom who died, and a grieving daughter left behind.
The origin of Mother's Day in the US: In the United States, Mother's Day did not become an official holiday until 1915. Its establishment was due largely to the perseverance and love of one daughter, Anna Jarvis. Anna's mother had provided strength and support as the family made their home in West Virginia and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where her father served as a minister. As a girl, Anna had helped her mother take care of her garden, mostly filled with white carnations, her mother's favorite flower. When Mrs. Jarvis died on May 5, 1905, Anna was determined to honor her. She asked the minister at her church in West Virginia to give a sermon in her mother's memory. On the same Sunday in Philadelphia, their minister honored Mrs. Jarvis and all mothers with a special Mother's Day service. Anna Jarvis began writing to congressmen, asking them to set aside a day to honor mothers. In 1910, the governor of West Virginia proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day and a year later every state celebrated it.
It's a mother's day tradition in our home, where Peter starts up our two garden fountains! Peter and Mattie created these fountains for me in July of 2008, actually days before Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. Mattie knew I loved fountains and he suggested that he and Peter make me two for my birthday. Now years later, the fountains are still going strong and they always remind me of Mattie.
This is the second fountain they made me. As you can see, I placed all kinds of shells in this fountain. Some were collected by Mattie initially, and then others were ones I found since he died.
Meanwhile, today was ALL work. Or I should say ALL WALK! I am not sure what is better to work the day away or to be focused on the significance of the day. Because our event is next weekend, I have no down time to focus on anything, which I suppose for now is a good thing. Yet everything I push aside while working on the Walk, does come back to bite me post-Walk. Needless to say, I took a break and walked Sunny by the Potomac River today. Not the greatest of plans as families were all out and about celebrating Mother's Day. It is a sight I truly do not care to see. As it only serves as a reminder of what is missing in my life. While so many are out celebrating, I am planning an awareness event that keeps alive the memory of our dead son. Rather quite an irony.
However, I realize this day isn't only hard for me. There are children who don't have a mom alive to share the day with, there are women who have never been able to have children, and there are women who have lost children in all sorts of ways (miscarriages, accidents, disease, etc). So I am aware of the multitude of pain to go around, and I suspect for the vast majority of us who live with these losses, we retreat from the world today and try to regroup.
