Tonight's picture was taken in January of 2004. Mattie was a year and a half old and his love for boxes and stacking started early! Mattie gravitated to VHS tapes. He enjoyed pulling them all out, stacking them, sorting them, and organizing them. The beauty of raising Mattie was observing him and following his lead. There were great books that I consulted with when pregnant, but once Mattie was born, I would say most of the "what to expect books" were lacking. Mainly because children are unique beings and I believe it is important to treat them as such! Sure, early on in Mattie's development, I was concerned about him meeting certain benchmarks, but quickly I deduced that benchmarks are useless at times, because with Mattie, I learned that he was going to do things on his time schedule, not according to someone else's timeline. I learned so much from Mattie, and like I always say, he was my greatest teacher.
Quote of the day: Memories, like dreams, are tools for understanding life…they provide an entry into the heart of what we have once experienced and helps us make sense out of it after the fact. ~ Ayelet Waldman
This week I can add more skills to my long growing list. As you know from Thursday's blog (with my neighbor's help), I changed the battery on my Dyson cordless vacuum. This is my favorite vacuum to use on a daily basis and I was very frustrated that it was not holding its battery charge. Between the Dyson rep and myself, we diagnosed the problem through an on-line chat, and with the new battery, the machine is working like a charm. One issue solved.
Then my mom's bathroom sink was backing up badly. She brought this to my attention, and what I love about both of my parents is they think I have solutions to all problems! HA, HA, HA!!! I am learning as I go, or I am dealing with each crisis that I face. I did my best to unclog the sink..... 1/2cup of baking soda, followed by 1/2cup of white vinegar. Let it sit for 15 minutes, and then turn HOT water on and let it flush for 10 minutes. This had some success, but to me the sink was still not acting right. So naturally I contacted my plumber friend. He came over yesterday! He checked out the sink, ran more hot water in it, popped some sort of bubble in the line, and said that I basically solved the problem myself. He makes me laugh when he tells me that I am on my way to becoming a plumber. A riot!
The crisis I have been facing for weeks is toilet paper consumption. Do you know that people with dementia are very fixated on all paper products? I went on-line tonight, to a dementia forum, and lots of caregivers are reporting similar issues as me. All of them are complaining that they are at their wit's end, as they do not know how to effectively ration or manage the consumption of paper. That may not sound like a big deal, but let me put this into context for you.
My dad goes through TWO (yes two!!) full rolls of toilet paper A DAY. He goes through two tissue boxes per week, along with rolls of paper towels. Today's crisis was he stuffed so much toilet paper down the toilet in one sitting that it practically overflowed. I have tried talking to him, rationalizing with him, and now I realize the only way to manage this, is I have to take away the whole roll and leave him with only pieces. I believe in giving him some independence, but I also have to ensure he and the house are safe! Otherwise, when I am not looking, I know there will be a flood. Thankfully I have a plunger. I ran to get it and was able to unclog the toilet. Perhaps my plumber is right... I am learning on the job.
With dementia comes a lot of repetitive behaviors. Of course that makes sense, because imagine if you can't remember from one minute to the other, what do you do? Well most likely, you repeat behaviors and actions constantly. It is quite overwhelming for a caregiver to manage. How do I manage my day to day existence without losing my mind?
The simple answer is Mattie. Mattie's cancer journey taught me the art of patience. The art of understanding, the art of juggling multiple tasks at once, to work on little to no sleep, and when you care for someone with cancer, you are faced with cleaning up fluids, messes, and managing the impossible. When I say Mattie was my greatest teacher, I am not kidding. I may have had natural caregiving tendencies to begin with, but I perfected them with Mattie. Caregiving, isn't just a task, it is a calling. An undervalued and under appreciated calling in our society, but nonetheless, a calling. It is grounded in love, respect, and commitment and I believe when caregiving for someone, we learn more about our skills, abilities, and character than perhaps any other job we could perform.
