Saturday, November 30, 2024Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie was home for Thanksgiving and this hospital bed was in our living room, as Mattie was recovering from limb salvaging surgery. It was a rough Thanksgiving holiday at home. Within moments of horror, were more peaceful moments like this one. As you can see Nurse Patches (our cat!) was on the seen and keeping close to Mattie. She was the best cat and knew how much Mattie was loved. The grey Lightning McQueen blanket that was covering Mattie, remains in the back of my car, even today.
Quote of the day: To be soul broken is to be filled with anguish that is brought on by the loss of our love, our relationship, and ourselves, and, often it is void of validation. If you know this pain, my deepest sympathies to you, not only for your loss but for how you've been hurting. ~ Stephanie Sarazin
Given that I have been writing this blog for 16 years now, daily without a break, this should tell you how attached I get to people in my life. The loss of Mattie was and will forever remain devastating. I write this blog to keep his memory, his life, and legacy alive, as well as to share his amazing spirit with others. I tell you this because this should give you some idea about how I feel about Peter's abandonment and divorce. I don't let things go! Wish I were that kind of person who could, but when I love you, that love is not conditional and it isn't finite. Which is why I remain in a constant state of disbelief, of confusion, and with a whole range of emotions that this love could be so easily discarded!
This faux tree came from Los Angeles. My mom and I bought it together when the clothing store, Coldwater Creek, closed down. It was one of their store decorations. I haven't been able to locate this tree for over a year. I found it about a week ago, after climbing up to the garage crawl space. Keep in mind that last year, I did not put up any kind of tree. Many of the ornaments on the tree came from the Christmas tree we assembled in the hospital in 2008 for Mattie. Mattie was so thrilled to have his own tree and because it meant so much to him, I kept every ornament from that tree!
This German Christmas carousel belonged to Peter's grandmother. She gave it to Peter's mom, and his mom gave it to me. I can't tell you how many Christmases I can remember at my in-laws over the years, with this carousel as the center piece of the dining table! I can't believe that all I have left are memories and things. All the Santas next to the Carousel were mine from when I was a child. Mattie LOVED playing with them!
This stained glass light up Christmas tree also came from my mother in law. She used to keep in our room at her house. It was our Christmas night light. It now belongs to me. Along with many of my mother in law's ceramic British cottages.
This table has something of mine, something of my mom's and something of my mother in law's. Three generations represented here!
2 comments:
You're in the New York Times today, Vicki!
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/25/opinion/children-cancer-grief.html
Yes thank you for sending me the link! I did this interview months ago. Sarah, the NYT contributor, unfortunately knows childhood cancer and loss personally. I was very honored she wanted to include me and the Psychosocial Standards of Care in her article!
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