Sunday, December 1, 2024

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. Mattie was home from the hospital and by that point our town house was filled to the brim with all sorts of gifts and toys. Mattie received gifts daily from friends, family, and from the hospital. Literally it got to the point that we were living in a warehouse. I couldn't keep up! But every item was deeply appreciated, because some days these items were the only things that brought a smile to Mattie's face! That was my overall goal, and though I am a very neat and organized person, order NO LONGER MATTERED. See the tree in this photo? Mattie's child life specialist gave him that tree in the hospital! Mattie loved it! I found this tree in our basement this weekend. At first, I thought this tree was my mom's and that I moved it from Los Angeles. But then I came across these photos and instantly remembered..... this is Mattie's tree!!! Unfortunately the fiber optic lights no longer work. So I literally took the whole base apart and I ordered a 10watt blub, and I hope when it comes in and I replace it, that the tree will work again. Either case, I will keep the tree and decorate it in honor of Mattie.  

Quote of the day: A divorce is like a controlled explosion. Everyone on the outside is okay. ~ Sophie Kinsella

In December of 2022, these were our Christmas stockings hanging by the fireplace. One for Mattie, Peter, me, and my mom and dad. 

This is what my fireplace looks like this year. It is missing, Peter. I have a stocking hung for Mattie, who is dead, and a missing stocking for my husband, who is now involved with another woman. It is NOT a happy Christmas picture. It is almost too much to manage. 

This afternoon, I took my parents out to brunch. Something we do every Sunday. When we were done with brunch, I left my parents at the table, and I ran out to pull the car up to the front door. On my way out of the restaurant, I bumped into one of the managers I have gotten to know very well. Typically I play a part.... the part of a well together, and functioning daughter, caring for her two parents. But today, I told him what I have been enduring for over a year. He just couldn't get over it! He was stunned and he literally gave me a huge hug. You know the kind of hug when you can tell someone GETS IT!? He was practically in tears because he said he has never a seen a more devoted daughter and kind person. That I most certainly don't deserve to be treated this way. He is a religious fellow, who is married and also has an only child. Seeing my life through someone else's eyes is fascinating. 

On Wednesday of this week, I am headed to the US Senate Federal Credit Union to meet with its CEO. This is the third year in a row that the Credit Union is donating $10,000 to Mattie Miracle. As you can see, Peter was with me in 2022. Things seemed so happy then! Last year, I collected the check alone, as I will be doing this year. It is a sad commentary that I carry on Mattie Miracle alone, that I need to be the champion of Mattie's legacy alone, and most of all that the loving and respectable man I once knew and loved is gone.