Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old. That Christmas we took Mattie to Los Angeles to celebrate the holidays with my parents. Given that the weather is 100 times better in LA than on the East coast during December, Mattie had a great time being outside and surrounded by greenery. It was the perfect trip for a very active little one. That day we took Mattie to Griffith Park. The Park had something for everyone including this Dentzel carousel. I truly do not know how I went from having everything that mattered, to nothing. No son, and now no husband!
Quote of the day: When love dies and marriage lies in ruins, the first casualty is honest memory, decent, impartial recall of the past. Too inconvenient, too damning of the present. It's the spectre of old happiness at the feast of failure and desolation. So, against that headwind of forgetfulness I want to place my little candle of truth and see how far it throws its light. ~ Ian McEwan
My dad's physical therapist came over this morning. On physical therapy days, I try to wake my dad up later. I get him up at 10am, get him showered, dressed, and downstairs for breakfast. Then I pull out workbooks and do about 15-20 minutes of brain games with him. I try to keep my dad energized, awake, and focused so that by the time his therapist shows up, he has the ability to work with her. Otherwise, if I get my dad up earlier, what he will want to do is go straight to his recliner and relax after breakfast. Relax means sleep. It is then much harder to engage my dad in therapy when he is coming from sleeping in his recliner. Or so that was the thinking the past two weeks.
Today's therapy session was interrupted three times, with my dad rushing to the bathroom for bowel movements. I can't tell you how exhausting his bathroom routine is, because typically whenever he uses the bathroom, there is a flood of urine all over the floor. Which means that every time he uses the bathroom, out comes the Clorox. I had a double whammy while managing the third bowel movement, because the cat was also vomiting at the same time. My mom was screaming for me while the cat was vomiting and I did not know what mess to focus on first! Truly I can't make this stuff up!
Later this afternoon, I took my parents for our main meal at our local diner. We have gotten to know the management there and each week we work with Jason. Jason is about my age, is married, and has three children. Over the course of our time together, he has noticed that it is only me taking my parents to the diner, and he can see the circus show I balance alone. Any case, last week he asked about my husband, as I wear my wedding ring. I spared him the whole story, but told him that my husband of 35 years left me for my neighbor. He couldn't get over it. This week, Jason asked me if I have any children. My answer today was blunt.... "he died." Not the response Jason was expecting. So he knelt down to talk to all of us and wanted to learn more about Mattie. So the wheels in Jason's head were turning... child died and husband left her. As he said, I am dealing with more than any one person should have to face. INDEED. Rather funny that Jason can see this, but my own husband doesn't give it a second thought. Instead, I think it gives him and my neighbor great pleasure in destroying my life.
Who in their right mind, leaves a 35 year relationship to start a relationship with one's neighbor? Better yet, what neighbor takes someone else's husband? I am not sure what story they have sold to each other, but in time the ugly truth will come out and I have a feeling that is when major problems will arise. Peter will learn that not all woman are like me..... because when you cross certain people, there will be negative consequences. But overall, what I know for certain in life is that a relationship based on lies, deception, and the destruction of one's family, doesn't form the solid foundation necessary for a long-term "new and happy" relationship.
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