Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. It was our first week in the hospital to receive chemotherapy. Needless to say we were all overwhelmed, anxious, and on edge. That day, Mattie's child life specialist, Linda, set up a big painting area in the hospital hallway. On that paper, Mattie created a sun and the earth. That week was the first and only week Mattie wore hospital attire. Thereafter, Mattie elected to wear pajamas throughout the day.
The sun was a symbol that Mattie integrated into all of his art. Not with any prompting from me, but by choice. Which was why the SUN seemed like the perfect symbol for Mattie's Foundation.
Quote of the day: If there's one thing I've learned in my years on this planet, it's that the happiest and most fulfilled people are those who devoted themselves to something bigger and more profound than merely their own self-interest. ~ John Glenn
It is 8:30pm and I have been running around all day. I got up at 6am, so I could get myself showered, dressed, and breakfast made. I then woke my dad up at 8am, got him washed, dressed, and downstairs. Peter took my dad to his memory care center and I drove my mom into the city to go to the salon for her hair and nails.
In all reality, I should take my mom somewhere closer to the house, but I have been going to this particular salon in Washington, DC for years. Also every time I go to this salon, I pass my old home and neighborhood. When I drive my old streets and see where I used to live it is almost painful. Painful for multiple reasons. The first is that the city has changed dramatically, starting with homeless encampments everywhere and then of course the simple fact that I raised Mattie in our old home. To me a part of him will always be there! As I was driving through the streets of Georgetown today, I also reflected on my countless walks with Sunny. When I got Sunny in 2016, he used to get three walks a day. Now given what I am balancing, I am lucky if Sunny gets one or two walks a week. It is depressing.
I think the pace I am keeping could dwindle even the strongest of spirits. I have no time to myself, I balance one crisis after the other, and am tired of being chauffer, chef, valet, laundromat, coordinator of activities, nurse, maid, and the list goes on. I haven't had a break from this routine for 9 months. I have no idea what having a meal in peace looks like, because with my dad he eats too fast and either starts hiccupping, choking, or has to run to the bathroom. If that wasn't bad enough, no information or conversation is retained for more than five minutes. So my dad has a habit of asking the same question, over and over. OVER AND OVER.
My mom's latest request is she wants to smell ocean air. I get it, I would like a change in routine and scenery too. But neither of my parent's have insight into their own issues. I assure you packing up this show and taking it on the road would be challenging. Could I do it, probably, but frankly she isn't thinking through what traveling for them would look like now. She thinks she can walk on the beach, but unfortunately she has difficulty walking on pavement. Needless to say, I walk a fine line between providing hope and sharing the reality for their safety.
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