Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Tuesday, August 9, 2022 -- Mattie died 671 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken on August 31, 2008. It was Labor Day weekend and Peter's family came down from Boston for a visit in  Washington, DC. They stopped by several times at the hospital to visit with us. Ironically now looking back, that may have been our first holiday spent at the hospital that year. A first is always difficult, and in time we came to view  holidays as just another day, minus the activity and hustle and bustle within the hospital itself. Though Mattie loved his cousins, I think being around typically developing children was a reminder to him that he had cancer and was different. 

Quote of the day: People who have Alzheimer’s know that pieces of the puzzle are missing, and they are terrified. ~ unknown

For the past two days, Peter has stopped whatever he is doing and has gotten into the pool. I admire him for doing this. While he is outside, I will come and sit for about five minutes, but then go right back inside. I am just constantly feeling edgy, as something always needs to be done or someone needs help or to be managed. I am fortune that Peter doesn't try to convince me otherwise, because that would provide a whole other host of stress and conflict. Naturally our new life isn't easy on Peter, but Peter is well versed in difficult times and unfortunately through these times our friendship has evolved. What a bunch of life lessons we have endured!

Peter was showing me photos yesterday and I came across this one! I absolutely love it! As you can see Sunny's leg was shaved and I imagine this photo was taken early on, soon after we rescued Sunny. Once rescued, we began treatment for heartworm. It was a very harsh process that involved an arsenic derivative infused into Sunny! But I would say right from the beginning Sunny and I had a bond! It was a mutual love and Sunny infused so much life into our home 7 years after Mattie died. 

This staircase was in our townhouse in Washington, DC. Just seeing these stairs brings back memories. Mattie used to line his shoes up the stairs and I remember after he died, it was hard to remove these shoes, and then it was hard to see the stairs void of shoes. These stairs serve as a visual reminder of so many memories in my mind. If the walls or stairs could talk? I wonder what they would be sharing with the new couple living in our space. 

We have a big window over our front door. I call it the Mattie Moon window. Mainly because it is through this window I have amazing sightings. While making the bed this morning, I was wondering what life would have been like if Mattie were still alive. What would our relationship be like? Would we be living in this house? How would he help with my parents? Of course NO answers were to be found, but that doesn't mean I still don't generate the questions.