Friday, December 5, 2014

Friday, December 5, 2014


Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2002. Mattie was eight months old and sitting in one of his favorite toys or devices.... the jumper. This thing attached to any door frame. Then Mattie could sit in it and jump up and down to his heart's content. Mattie loved movement and being free. He wasn't a crawler, EVER! The jumper allowed him to stand and move around without assistance which he loved and then when he grew tired of jumping, we would swing him in the jumper. This was one of the MUST have items on our list with Mattie! 


Quote of the day: Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily. ~ Paulo Coelho


I think tonight's quote is so applicable to the work that I do each day with the Foundation. When many of us choose a professional, we typically select something that our minds are GOOD at! That we can wrap our head around. Something that makes sense to us, maybe a skill we have, or something that we love doing and understand and want to do! It can be problematic to be regulated by one's heart rather than one's mind. When you make decisions with your heart, the decisions can be more impulsive, they can be more emotionally based and they at times can be more raw and based on something more personal. This has pluses and minuses. 

With the Foundation, all paths somehow lead back to Mattie! It is kind of like the North Star! He is our compass and guides many decisions. Again this can be a blessing and a curse, it is a curse because at times I feel like Don Quixote in search of a windmill trying to fix a wrong. But of course the wrong was committed a long time ago in September of 2008, when Mattie died, and that can't be repaired. Yet in my work, my windmill still spins in hope of finding that fix. Of course logically nothing I do will ever repair this hole. I can find myself on conference calls, like today, and I hear professionals talking about a topic I LIVED! Especially when issues like bereavement come up. To me bereavement and loss are not theory. They are real. These are issues that are pervasive, they impact my life today, tomorrow, and into the future. But I am not alone. I feel like I represent all the other bereaved parents out there who lost a child to cancer. When I hear conversations that try to lump "our" issues in with other issues related to cancer, I can't take it! It is like petting a cat backwards, and usually that is when my heart takes over, and forget the mind. I have developed a new tag line.... bereaved parents are the "forgotten ones." Once our children die, we fall off the radar scope of most care institutions. If you are lucky enough to have a care institution follow you one year post death, you are lucky, but after that point, then what? Some hospitals may invite you back year after year to their annual remembrance ceremony in the hospital chapel, but in my mind that doesn't constitute support. That is once a year, what happens all the other days in the year? What happens during the holidays? How are you supposed to integrate back into a world which doesn't understand grief and loss in general, much less the death of a child? 

With the death of Mattie, my mind has been taken hostage by my heart. I am aware of this in myself and I do try to keep it in check since I do know that not every one can manage my outbursts at times. Yet my outbursts are not usually intentionally directed at people. It may be perceived that way, but that is the challenge of working on something that you are emotionally connected to.... at times your heart will always outweigh the mind. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. We took Mattie to Frying Pan Park in Herndon, VA. Mattie was intrigued by the animals!!! He wanted to reach out and touch them and they were coming on over to visit him as well. As you can see so was a black Labrador Retriever. It was quite a show that day, but Mattie was happiest when he was outside, in the fresh air, in wide open spaces and without a lot of chaos and people around him. 


Quote of the day: Without fear, we are able to see more clearly our connections to others. Without fear, we have more room for understanding and compassion. Without fear, we are truly free. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today I ventured to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Bethesda, MD, to deliver my last round of candy. Now visiting NIH may not sound like a major problem, unless you have actually driven onto this campus before (I included a schematic of this nightmare for other directionally challenged people like myself so you could see it for yourself). It is like a compound. First of all, you can't just freely drive into it and park! You first have to get through security. Which means you have to get out of your car, open up your doors and trunk for inspection, move away from your vehicle and go inside to walk through a metal detector and have your government issued ID checked.

While I was inside going through the metal detector, the guard who was inspecting my car, came back inside to get me. She had me come back outside because all the other inspectors wanted to meet me! Why? Because they wanted to meet the candy lady! They are used to inspecting cars every day, but it was a first for them to inspect a car with a trunk load of candy! They said it was very hard to resist inspecting the trunk without taking the candy and wanted to know where the candy was going. When I told them it was going to the Children's Inn on campus, their response was.... "we wouldn't take any candy away from the children!" 

In June 1990, The Children's Inn at NIH opened its doors to pediatric patients and their families. Since then The Inn has been in continuous operation: 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. The doors never close. During the past 24 years, more than 12,712 seriously ill children and their families have made 50,000 visits to The Inn. Children and families travel from all over the world to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) because conventional treatments have failed to have sufficient impact on their illnesses. Children receive treatment for illnesses such as cancer, heart, lung, blood, bone and growth disorders, mental illnesses, and HIV infection. The Inn stand in sharp contrast to the isolation of a hotel room. In the lively atmosphere of The Inn, the kids and their families can put aside the challenges they face. The Inn gives kids a place to be kids for a while, instead of patients. At the end of the treatment day, they leave behind the IV drips, the needles, the nurses and doctors to return to The Inn and, most importantly, to the comforting presence of their families and caring staff and volunteers.

The Inn itself is quite lovely! I have visited it once before when I first went out there to visit Lori Wiener, who is our lead psycho-oncologist on our National Standards of Care project. The Inn really feels just like it sounds..... like an Inn. Even the carts look like hotel carts, not some sort of institutionalized vehicle. In any case I will never forget the face of a young girl today who saw this cart load of candy. Her eyes became glued to the cart and literally you could see she wanted to know just when she was going to get her hands on the candy! It was totally adorable. 

I am pictured here with Laura King, the Senior Director of Volunteers and Community Outreach. 

When I think about how much candy I have processed this week alone it is down right incredible. I did not think it could honestly be done. It involved a lot of hauling, lifting, moving, and driving ALL over DC, Virginia, and Maryland, but the mission has been accomplished. Candy Drive 2014 is officially DONE!!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old. By this point we were already taking Mattie to Fall festivals and he was in love with collecting pumpkins at each outing. He would display them all over our home and use them in play schemes and so forth. Watching Mattie at work was always fascinating and fun because you never knew what was going to happen next, but sure enough, there was always going to be a plan. Thankfully I never had my camera far away to capture these "ordinary" yet now what I would consider magical moments in time.



Quote of the day: Every friend was once a stranger and if you know this, you have to understand that conversations are the beginning of connection. ~ Israelmore Ayivor


Tonight's quote resonates with me. Or I guess Peter would say it SHOULD resonate with me or DESCRIBES me to a T. He jokes with me that people just can't seem to pass me by without having a conversation with me, and that my conversations land up developing into friendships! I don't know why people want to tell me their stories, share their life histories with me, or tell me their problems! I really don't know, all I know is they have for as long as I can remember. Even as a child! I can recall kids wanting me to stay after school, to "consult" with me. I remember our carpool wanting to absolutely KILL me because they always had to wait for me! I was never on time! I wasn't on time, mainly because I was always making time for someone else. 

Today I connected with someone who was a "stranger" at one time to me, but after interacting with her for many years in a work context, we have gotten the chance to get to know each other in a more friendly sort of way. In any case, I have heard about the ins and outs of her life, the ups and downs, the close connections of her family and so forth, and just like any of us when we get invested in someone's life we begin to see patterns in their lives. Yet the story she shared with me today, caught me very much off guard, I wasn't expecting the news she shared. It left me upset for me.

It reminds me once again, how holidays can be blessings for some and yet truly devastating for others. As I saw for my friend today. On top of that, I noticed the Foundation was receiving memorial donations today. Quickly we surmised that Elissa Naiman died after her long battle with lung cancer. Like so many victims of this horrific disease, Elissa never smoked a day in her life and though many of us like to look for causes for why we get ill, some times there is NO logic and NO reasoning. Which is truly frustrating and abundantly scary. The Naiman family have been supporters of the Foundation and avid blog readers and we are deeply moved that they chose to have friends and family donate to Mattie Miracle as a way to acknowledge Elissa's spirit and memory. Here is another incredible example of how cancer has transformed another family forever. Whoever says cancer is JUST a biological disease has GOT IT ALL VERY wrong!!! It is a disease that produces lasting and deep psychological and emotional effects on everyone in its wake.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/bostonglobe/obituary.aspx?n=elissa-braga-naiman&pid=173357466&fhid=25324

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Tuesday, December 2, 2014 -- Mattie died 273 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was one and a half years old and as you can see loved playing in our kitchen sink! He did not like having the water on per se, but enjoyed being up high, checking things out on the counter and looking out the kitchen window. 


Quote of the day: True compassion means not only feeling another's pain but also being moved to help relieve it. ~ Daniel Goleman 


I am happy to report that we have our living room and dining room back! After over a month of living in a candy factory, I am thrilled. I no longer smell or see piles of candy. It is beyond wonderful! I never thought I would say that, but it is a great feeling. I drove literally all over the place today! My first stop was in Southeast, Washington, DC. My trunk was filled to capacity and so was my back seat. Needless to say, the recipients at my first site were beyond ecstatic to see this candy! The kids were practically jumping for joy! After this large donation, I then headed back home and started the whole process of filling up my wheeled bin and rolling it to my car. I made several trips up and down the elevator and loaded up my car for trip number two out to Reston, Virginia! Overall today, we donated probably over 500 pounds of candy alone! I am feeling lighter already!!!! 

Meanwhile, one of my close friends was hospitalized yesterday and as I was reflecting on her health situation and all she has been through in her life, I decided to send her a song last night through email. Along with a message. Songs have great meaning to me because they can convey messages sometimes that the written word can't seem to accomplish on its own. When Mattie was in the hospital battling cancer, a friend of ours sent us an email with this song and a message. Just like I did for my friend last night. I remember opening up the email and listening to the song. I found the song resonated with me so much that I had Peter listen to it too in the hospital. I bet if I asked Peter today if he remembered this song, who sent it to us, and in what context we heard it...... he would remember it instantly!!! The song arrived in our lives at a crucial time. 

Which is why, on occasion when the "moment" is right, for special people in my life, I too send them "Moments!" I included the song link below. You may watch it and think the song is only about suicide, because that is what the man is initially planning on doing in the video. But to me the song isn't only about suicide. It could pertain to someone going through any life crisis, any struggle. This is something we all can relate to. We ALL have these moments! I like to send this song to other people to let them know that I realize they are going through tough "moments" and I am aware of this, and just like the man on the bridge, I am with them and understand. We all need a friend to remind us that we aren't alone in our moments, that we had good moments in the past, and have opportunities for better moments ahead.  

Emerson Drive - Moments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ3-PHktE34

Monday, December 1, 2014

Monday, December 1, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2002. Mattie was 8 months old and riding in his favorite toy/vehicle! We called it "tot wheels!" Mattie rode it around our home like a sports car. He couldn't walk or crawl, but he could negotiate this thing around corners, tight spaces, you name it! He followed me just about everywhere in tot wheels. That evening it started to snow and we opened the door for Mattie to check it out. Like Peter, Mattie was fascinated by the weather and in many cases would wheel himself right out onto the deck to examine what was going on. The cold did not seem to bother him, but he was definitely intrigued by the white stuff and wanted to watch it fall. 


Quote of the day: Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. ~ Henry Ford

I am not sure HOW AN ENTIRE day could slip passed me but it did. I literally was glued to the computer and never left my deck. I spent the entire day revising one of the psychosocial chapters I wrote this Fall and when I completed that task, I spent the remaining part of the day figuring out where the rest of the candy that was sitting in our living room was going. It needed a home and I have been calling ALL around town desperately trying to find a home for it. I am so happy to report that as of tonight, I can now say that all our candy will have a home by the end of the week!!! We are beyond thrilled because moving almost 4000 pounds of candy is NO EASY task and then the logistics of finding homes for it is another magic trick!!! 

Tomorrow morning and afternoon, I will be making donations in Washington, DC and Virginia, so I started loading up my car! This is just the morning's donation in SouthEast Washington, DC. After the morning's donation, I am headed back home to reload the car for the afternoon's donation in Virginia! Needless to say I am getting my workout. Yet the individuals I spoke to on the phone today were truly grateful to be receiving our donations. It was a pleasure talking to them and I look forward to meeting them in person tomorrow. 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2002. This was actually a rather rare photo of Mattie. He truly did not like being in his baby carrier, especially dangling from the front. He preferred riding on Peter's back. But I loved this puppy hat on Mattie and it was one of my favorite hats I picked out for him. I also notice in the backdrop of this photo was a wonderfully big tree which was in our commons area. This tree has since been cut down. This tree was cut down before Mattie developed cancer. I remember the day it was cut and removed, Mattie and I were both very upset by this, since this was where all our birds liked to nest and perch. Once that tree disappeared, Peter and Mattie decided to plant bushes in its place to fill the void. These bushes have grown to my height and taller! Mattie's memorial bush garden symbolizes his loss and marks where a tree which gave us joy at one time stood tall. 


Quote of the day: There is pleasure in the pathless woods; There is rapture on the lonely shore; There is society, where none intrudes, by the deep sea and music in its roar: I love not man the less, but Nature more. ~ Lord Byron 



Peter and I spent a portion of our day outside on our deck, our balcony, and in our commons area. Cleaning up dead plants and debris, in order to get our garden areas ready for the winter. It was a relatively milder temperature day, therefore we wanted to take advantage of that luxury and accomplish this task while we could. Meanwhile we weren't alone. We had all our bird friends fluttering about and keeping a close eye on us. It is hard to imagine how much they can eat in just one day.... three bird feeders full to be exact! It is hard to keep them in bird food. But they are wonderful winter companions for me, so I work from home and watch them from my window! 

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie was in the Hospital and as you can see a lot was happening in his small room. Posing with Mattie was Scooby Doo! Mattie loved Scooby, and Mattie had many Scooby visits while inpatient. Accompanying Scooby was Linda, Mattie's child life specialist. Linda and Mattie were close and I knew Linda understood Mattie, and Mattie trusted her to get his needs met. Peter and I needed was many allies as possible in the Hospital and we knew Linda was one of them who we could always turn to for help and advocacy!  


Quote of the day: In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

On the property of the Hotel we were staying at for Thanksgiving was this wonderful stone "mansion." The Mansion dates back to 1905. The reason why I photographed the sign and the structure itself is because it has sentimental value to me. When I was 13, I had a confirmation party in the Mansion and then many, many years later, Peter and I had our rehearsal dinner for our wedding in The Mansion. 

The Mansion has a wonderful history. The Mansion, sometimes called "Red Oaks," was a countryside estate that belonged to John Carrere, a well known architect. Some of his famous works included the NY Public Library, the US House of Representatives and the US Senate. 



Every time we stay at this particular hotel and we see it change and be remodeled, it bothers me. Mainly because I know MORE about this hotel property than MOST of the people who actually work there. I have seen this hotel grow and be transformed over the decades. When my parents relocated to Los Angeles when I was in high school, we would visit New York frequently those first couple of years. When we did, we would stay in this hotel. Therefore I have experienced this hotel as a guest, my family hosted parties at this hotel, and of course when Peter and I visit New York on occasion now, we stay at this hotel. Therefore I have been involved with this Hotel for decades. Almost like a home away from home. So when you see a home change, it is hard to accept, especially when you do not view it as an improvement. 

The latest renovations involve a complete modernization of the hotel's entry way and restaurant. The new restaurant is called THE HIVE. Perfect name, because it is ALL A BUZZ!!! I honestly do not consider the Hive just a restaurant! It has become an all purpose room. It is where people gather, get drinks (at the bar), coffee/tea, and work on computers! It is a space that just doesn't know what it wants to be. Also you can watch TV there!!! The chairs are just as crazy. Mind you, you have to dine on these chairs! Some are actual stools with NO backs!! Trying to have breakfast or dinner on such a chair is a pip! Sure it looks hip, cool, and trendy!! But when push comes to shove it is a frenetic space and NOT inviting! I want to meet the architect who came up with this design!!!! 

As soon as I entered the hotel, I literally complained to the front desk. I told them I did not care for their recent remodel! She said that guests were raving about the new space! I figure they were raving because they did not know the old space. Here is what the old dining room looked like! I can't find a single photo on line to post on the Blog! The hotel must have scrubbed all the photos! So instead, this is a photo I took of Peter from a PREVIOUS visit to the hotel. You can see the dining room had amazing picture windows that looked out onto tranquil trees and grounds! It was like a hide away! Away from the hustle and bustle of our busy worlds. The dining room was spacious and people weren't on top of each other. There weren't TVs all around us while we were eating and it was simply a pleasurable experience. A totally different experience from what is happening above. 

As we drove back to Washington, DC today, many of the trees have already lost their leaves. But this wonderful grouping by the George Washington Bridge caught my attention. 

The George Washington Bridge speaks for itself! So does this whitish sky which to me shows you just how cold and frigid it was outside. 

Close up of the Bridge!

As we got closer to Maryland, we started to see bluer skies. Which was lovely. Usually in DC, I am used to being greeted with grey skies! 

I joked with Peter as we headed closer to Baltimore that I bet there would be a cruise ship in the Harbor today! Sure enough, as we came through the Fort McHenry Tunnel, I saw Royal Caribbean's Grandeur of the Seas! Some how that just reminded us of warmer weather despite the fact that it is winter and cold out. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

Friday, November 28, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken the the day after Thanksgiving in 2008. Mattie and Peter had a post-Thanksgiving tradition. They would create a wonderful Christmas light display in our commons area for everyone to see! When they first started it, it was a simple string of lights. Then with each subsequent year the design GREW and a mechanical creature also seemed to be added to the layout from year to year. In 2008, Mattie selected the dog you see in this photo to be added to the display! The dog looked just like Scooby Doo (a character he LOVED)! The display had mechanical reindeer, snowmen, candy canes, you name it! People from all over our complex would tell us how much they LOVED our display and in fact it would inspire neighbors to decorate their balconies. After Mattie died, the tradition of decorating our common space also died. 


Quote of the day: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of human freedoms - To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one's own way. Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to chose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~ Viktor Frankl

We took this photo last night right before Thanksgiving dinner. Pictured with me were my lifetime friend Karen, her mom, Naomi, and Naomi's friend Annette. 
(from left to right: Annette, Naomi, Karen, and Vicki)

I learned last night that one of Annette's son's was diagnosed with an inoperable form of brain cancer in March. So clearly though the type of cancer was different and the circumstances and age of her son also varied, Peter and I could very much relate to the psychosocial issues that her entire family are now facing and unfortunately will face for the rest of their lives. 

Now you maybe looking at this photo and saying.... what on earth is this??? I see trees and a wrought iron fence, right?!!! You would be correct!! As Peter was driving from our hotel to where Karen and her mom are, we passed this area. As soon as I saw it, I immediately flashed back in time to my childhood, to all the times I was sick and had to visit my pediatrician. I remember being in the back seat of the car and staring out the window of my mom's car and looking at wrought iron fences and dreading to have to see the doctor! So when Peter passed these fences, this is the feeling these fences evoked. Then I looked at the name of the street we were on and saw we were on "Bryant Avenue"....... I immediately text messaged my mom and asked her if my pediatrician was on Bryant Street in White Plains. She confirmed that I was indeed correct! I was a child and I haven't lived in NY for decades. So I honestly do not know my way around these streets anymore. I do not get the chance to return to where I grew up as a child much any more, but as Peter was driving around yesterday and today, it was like some roads seemed so familiar. I couldn't tell you their names, but I knew I had been on them before, and even as we passed one school, I told Peter..... "I swear I saw fireworks on the fourth of July there one year." 

Today we journeyed to Greenwich, CT, which isn't far from where we are staying in New York. About 17 miles!!! We visited the Bruce Museum and saw an exhibit entitled, "Northern Baroque Splendor: The Hohenbuchau Collection from: Liechtenstein. The Princely Collections, Vienna." Known as the “Golden Age” of Netherlandish art, the 17th century witnessed the birth of new genres of painting, from still life and landscape to scenes of everyday life. Indeed, by merging drama and dynamism with exacting naturalism and human sympathy, Northern Baroque artists created a new, enduringly compelling kind of painting. The Bruce Museum explores the variety and splendor of Northern Baroque Art across the 17th century. The Hohenbuchau Collection is one of the largest and most varied collections of Northern Baroque art assembled in recent years and is now on long-term loan from LIECHTENSTEIN, the Princely Collections, Vienna.  This selective showing at the Bruce Museum is the inaugural venue in the U.S. before it travels to Cincinnati.

Primarily comprised of Dutch and Flemish 17th century paintings, it exhibits all the naturalism, visual honesty and technical brilliance for which those schools are famous. While many modern collections of Old Masters specialize in a single style or subject matter, the Hohenbuchau Collection is admirable for offering examples of virtually all the genres (figures, landscapes, still lifes) produced by Lowland artists; the collection is distinguished for the many quality individual paintings executed by more than one artist, working in collaboration. 

There were 80 painting on display, I am showing four of the ones that caught my attention below!

"Temptation of Christ in a Broad Landscape" by Denys van Alsloot and Hendrick de Clerck ~ 1611

Hendrick de Clerck painted the figures and Denys van Alsloot painted the landscape and what made this a unique piece was they both signed this painting. This scene depicts the temptation of Christ in which Satan approached him dressed as a wily monk. There are many different scenes captured in this one painting! Another one was in the top left hand corner. Christ stands at the mountaintop surrounded by angels after refusing Satan's offer of the world's kingdoms in exchange for worship.

"The Holy Family Surrounded by a Garland of Roses" by Daniel Seghers and Simon de Vos

de Vos painted the Holy Family in the center, where Mary attends to needlework and Joseph chisels wood and Christ gathers good chips. While Segher's surrounding roses and ivy symbolizes Christian love and immortality. 

These roses are absolutely breathtaking and truly capture your attention from clear across a room! 

"Flowers in a vase, with a kingfisher and a lizard" by Jacob Marrell

This painting celebrates the tulip! Marrell was particularly drawn to the red and white striped tulip, which was rare and very expensive back then! This painting was done only two years before the famous "tulipomania" of 1636-37, when speculation of the bulb market reached dizzying heights and ruined many careers. Like many Dutch and Flemish Still Lifes, this bouquet could not have existed in reality in the 17th century because the various flowers depicted here were unable to bloom simultaneously (unlike today, in which we have access to flowers at any time of year, this wasn't the case back then, instead such a bouquet existed in one's mind ONLY). Therefore such paintings advertised the virtues and powers of these artists. 

"Forest floor still life with thistles, reptiles, frog, snail, butterflies, and other insects" by Otto Marseus van Schrieck

What captures one's attention about this Flemish painting is the incredible use of luminosity and the fluorescent effect of the content portrayed within them! It was as if these butterflies were going to fly off the canvas and into the room! They were that beautifully done. Just vibrant, colorful, and aglow. So many of these paintings within this exhibit chase your attention because of their technique, color, and lighting. True works of art. 

Wind Formation, Victoria Lower Glacier

In 2012, Diane Tuft traveled to Antarctica after receiving a grant from the National Science Foundation’s Antarctic Artists and Writers Program. Her images chronicle the extraordinary results of that expedition with stunning photographs that capture Antarctica’s raw, untouched splendor with colors, textures, and compositions that verge on the surreal. 

This is a photo of the Invertebrates found in the Antarctic waters! This wouldn't my cup of tea, but Mattie would have loved seeing these creatures in their jars! Mattie would have also appreciated the room devoted to feeding live crabs and horse shoe crabs at the museum! This was actually a very informative session in which we got to see how horse shoe crabs, whelk shells, and even clams and oysters process and eat food. 

Vicki, Karen, and Naomi on Greenwich Avenue in downtown historic Greenwich, Connecticut! Mind you it was 32 degrees and freezing! Yet we were out walking in it. 

I was the worst out of all of us, needing a break from the cold. So we ducked into a store to get warm! We landed up in a huge store that featured fine china, household items of all kinds and these adorable holiday displays. 

Also on our adventure today, we drove through the exclusive community of Belle Haven! This is where I would say the life style of the Rich and Famous live! The houses are beautiful and tucked into this private and exclusive community is this charming and old world Inn, the Thomas Henkelmann Homestead Inn. http://www.homesteadinn.com/index.php

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie's school counselor gave him this cute turkey hat in celebration of Thanksgiving and as soon as he saw it, he put it on his head. Mattie had a great sense of humor and spirit about him. Even under the most trying of circumstances. With that said, there were times he would get very down and depressed. We would need to pull him out of these dark places which took super human strength, strength which in many cases we did not feel we always possessed. However, we understood what was at stake and also realized what Mattie was enduring.


Quote of the day: It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful for. He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient. But a thankful heart hath a continual feast. ~ W.J. Cameron



I am posting today's blog early because Peter and I are driving to New York to visit my lifetime friend, Karen, and her mom. I will be writing from New York on Friday. We wish our readers a good Thanksgiving. I am well aware that the holidays are not a joyous and happy time for everyone. Especially for those who have lost a loved one and those who maybe struggling with other hardships. In fact, holidays have a way of only adding fuel to the fire. 

Holidays can make us feel like outliers from the norm. We can get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. People talk about their parties, writing cards, shopping, and so forth. In many ways these "tasks" as others may call them are just little reminders of the things we do not have on our "to do list" and aren't invited to do anymore. If you are one of these outliers, you really aren't alone. There are others of us! It is just not talked about openly because such dialogue, in a social setting, is an immediate conversation stopper and makes other people uncomfortable. Any thing out of the norm or perceived as different is a head turner. But meeting another parent who marched to her own drum last weekend at the Special Love retreat was helpful for me. I just wish there was a way that us 'outliers' could be able to have our feelings heard and embraced by society, so that we could better integrate and share in the lives of people we once knew. But this takes work on both sides. Not just the outlier/griever. 

To our friends and supporters of Mattie Miracle, we are deeply grateful and thankful to you for supporting the Foundation five years and counting! Have a peaceful and meaningful day. 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2002. Mattie was seven months old. This was one of my favorite Fall photos of Mattie and me. I loved his "puppy" hat that he was wearing and the oak tree behind us has significance for us later in life. That tree supplied leaves for all the tent moth caterpillars Mattie brought home in the spring from his school playground. We would feed them and care for them long enough until they formed their cocoons, metamorphosed into moths, and released them on our deck! 


Quote of the day: Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. ~ Edward Sandford Martin

I snapped a photo of our beautiful Christmas Cactus that is in our living room! This plant clearly is slightly off and a bit confused since it is Thanksgiving and NOT Christmas. But nonetheless, it is an amazing sight! These plants can be temperamental! I had a Christmas Cactus in the past that bloomed once and then never bloomed again, and then died! This one seems to be hardy and a real producer. It comes back every year! 

As I mentioned in last night's blog I finally got around to filling our bird feeders! Just in time, since today it began to slightly snow and the temperature seemed cold and raw! What I worried about was the new location of the feeders! Our sparrows have been used to the feeders hanging on our deck! This year I moved them to our commons area! This morning, the birds were all a flutter! They were outside my office window making a racket. They wanted to be fed. I wasn't sure how exactly to communicate to them that I understood they were frustrated with me but that the feeders were there and FILLED. They were in 'line up mode' as I call it, on the wall staring at me. Perched and waiting for me to address their needs. Then all of a sudden one of them did a fly over and caught glimpse of the new bird feeder set up..... and that was it. This bird signaled the rest, and the feeding frenzy began. They come swooping down at the feeders in packs! We have three feeders hanging from hooks. But by the end of today, all three feeders are half full! They are very hungry creatures and we go through a great deal of bird seed every two weeks! 

I am quite sure I feed the same sparrows year to year. Some sparrows can live up to 15 years. I would almost bet that some of these sparrows I started to feed around the time Mattie was an infant. After all, I began this past time, around the time Mattie was born. I was spending a lot of time at home then and it gave us something to do in the winter months and a way for us to engage with nature. Mattie loved it and then we just continued it year after year. Because we have done this for SO long, the pack continues to grow bigger with each year. I enjoyed seeing them come back today, and it is the only part of winter I like.