Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2002. Mattie was five months old. By this point in his development, he was used to water and the bathtub. Mattie did not naturally gravitate to water. But when he got acclimated over time, he came to LOVE bath time! He had some elaborate play schemes in this tub! But look at that cute face, looking up at me. He was priceless.
Quote of the day: We are aware that blaming and arguing can never help us and only create a wider gap between us; that only understanding, trust, and love can help us change and grow. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Tonight's quote is interesting. In the 35 years I have known Peter, I can count on one hand our arguments. For the most part we did not argue. We did not always agree with each other, but we always respected the other and found a way forward. Which is why Peter walking out on me in September of 2023, is so shocking. Many times couples headed for divorce SAW it coming. There were tell tale signs, problems, and unhappiness. If Peter felt any of these things, he kept them to himself. Asking for a divorce after all we have been through is shocking enough, but the circumstances behind this plays out like a bad TV movie. There are many things I have not revealed on this blog, because it was my hope that Peter would realize what he was walking away from, but I will say that he did not just walk away, but he walked right into another relationship. A relationship that has caused havoc, devastation, and extreme despair in my household. I have been betrayed in the worst possible way and I don't see a way forward. While Peter is off living his "new" life, he has completely forgotten his life with me, our families, and forget Mattie. None of us matter.
Peter has left me traumatized, decimated on every level, and it is hard to function in the world. If my parents weren't around, I would be floundering even more than I currently am. If my husband of decades can lie, betray, abandon, and be so cruel, then in my opinion, so can the rest of the world. So why bother?
While my dad had his physical therapy appointment this morning, a neighbor came over to visit. All my neighbors have known what is going on with me and they have had their own observations of my nightmare over this past year. In fact it was my neighbors who told me that I did nothing wrong, therefore I have nothing to be ashamed of! Because for months after Peter left, I pretended that he was around but on travel! So we chatted with my neighbor for an hour this morning.
After my neighbor left, I completed the Foundation's November newsletter and then finished my continuing education for my licensure renewal. I went on line this evening and inputted all the data and I can check off this big hurdle from my to-do list! I frankly do not know how I was able to do anything this week given how my life has been torn to shreds.
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