Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in the Fall of 2005 in Mattie's preschool class. The irony about this preschool class was that in addition to the children forming friendships, the parents in this class also became very close with one another. As you can see there are three other children in this picture and now that it is six years later from when this photo was taken, I still see these three other moms and they support the Foundation in their own ways. That to me speaks volumes about the school and the nature of that classroom. The funny part about all of this is a year before Mattie entered preschool, if you would have asked him to play with shaving cream, he would have been horrified. He would have had a tantrum about the texture, the feeling, and the whole experience. Thanks to Mattie's amazing occupational therapist, he learned to be open to these kind of activities and actually enjoyed them! Mattie was a fighter right from the beginning. He did not only contend with cancer, but he dealt with a significant sensory integration issue. I stand behind early interventions, finding the right professional to work with, and of course the advocacy and devotion of time that only a parent can provide a child. Most likely if I did not tell you about Mattie's struggles, you would have just looked at this picture and seen a happy kid playing with shaving cream. Now hopefully you can also see a happy kid who overcame a great deal to find the joy of playing with shaving cream!  

Quote of the day: There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, and the other is pulling up. ~ Booker T. Washington

My friend Charlie sent me this quote today and to me it speaks directly about grief. Grief can do one of two things to a person. It can either make you angry, bitter, and push back at people and life, or it can stir something deep within that inspires you to try to climb up and out of the abyss of sadness. With that said however, I do think the "pushing down" and "pulling up" forces are both present and experienced for me. There are days that I have the energy, hope, and where with all to be courageous and integrate into the world, and then there are some days when everything is overwhelming and I will either push away or at those closest to me.

I had the opportunity today to visit with my friend Leslie. Leslie lives in Maryland and though that is our neighboring state, we actually do not live around the corner from each other. However, thanks to the power of the Internet, we are able to stay connected. Leslie was my freshman year college roommate. The first year of college is always a major adjustment and I imagine for most people it is a time one doesn't forget. I witnessed many mismatched roommates during my first year of college, people with different moral values, organizational skills, and responsibility levels. Fortunately for Leslie and I, at the core we had similar viewpoints and values which helped us both adjust to being far away from home. Ironically over our four years at Union College, there were many people who entered our social circle. Nonetheless, despite that, our friendship remained throughout our time on campus. As we were talking today, I realized that for the most part many of the people we thought were our friends at college drifted away from us, and yet our friendship remains. I was Leslie's maid of honor at her wedding, and like myself, she married a man she met in college. College seems like a magical time, and it is a time in which we meet and establish friends independent of our family. I know at that tender age, when I developed those friendships, I thought I would have them for the rest of my life. Some people are lucky if they have the longevity of college friendships, but from my experiences geographical distance and life separate people apart.

Leslie is an avid blog reader and though we haven't physically seen each other in a while, she felt in a way that she has seen me. She told me she starts each of her days with the blog and that some days it makes her cry and other days she sits and wonders how on earth we do it? How do we get up and continue living and doing? Excellent question. Though I did not mention this, Leslie understood and verbalized to me that writing the blog each day takes discipline and a certain level of creativity. Absolutely, I couldn't have said it better. She told me how moving our story is and how it should be a book, and that I could do this. Part of my issue with writing a book is self confidence and also at times I get stymied by the fact that the book symbolizes Mattie and therefore it has to be GOOD.

We spent three hours catching up, chatting about all sorts of things, and having a lovely lunch. I introduced Leslie to Seasons 52, one of my favorite restaurant chains. A chain that began in Florida and I recall going to it with my parents and Mattie. It reminds me of my times with Mattie each time I go to the restaurant. Today was a day about reconnecting and the funny part about us, is we picked up right from when we last saw each other.

Thursday is a BIG day for Peter and I. We are starting the day with the Georgetown University Business school class who adopted us as their community service project. We will spend the entire class hearing student presentations about the Foundation and then we will be providing them with feedback. After class we will be off to Capitol Hill to meet with staffers and then later that evening we will be attending a reception at the Four Seasons in which Georgetown University Hospital will be presenting us with a special recognition award. It will be a whirlwind of a day!

I would like to end tonight's posting with two messages. The first message is from my friend and colleague, Nancy. Nancy wrote, "Reading yesterday's blog from picture to the end was so rewarding. Personally, when I write from my heart, I am amazed how Vicki fits my words to wrap up hers. We are a good duo. I believe that your connectedness has rub off and is another example of why people are wanting to help the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation. I was so excited to read of your meeting and contacts. Wow, I wish I lived near DC and could participate in the Whole Foods Day. I did think of one and want to make it a surprise, so watch the mail. In addition, reading of the ripples that are taking place signifies the importance of the work that you are accomplishing with the Foundation and the devotion that you feel for Mattie. Have a wonderful day. This is only the beginning of other partnerships that will emerge to support and comfort the families, short of wiping out this horrible disease. Mattie remains your inspiration."

The second message is from our friend Tad (who happens to be Junko's husband). Tad wrote, Congrats on Whole Foods day at the store in Alexandria, for the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation! That is awesome. The connections manifest in marvelous ways. That said, I sense many angels, and one fearless lead angel, watching out for you."