Mattie Miracle 8th Annual Walk & Family Festival was an $88,000 Success!!!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.

As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Random Shots of Mattie, Family and Friends

August 11, 2016

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Thursday, August 11, 2016

This photo was literally taken seven years ago on August 11, 2009. By this point we all knew that Mattie's cancer was terminal. I did not share this information with Mattie, but ironically I don't think I had to! He seemed to understand this intuitively. Even before the scans were done which showed that the cancer metastasized. What strikes me about this photo was Mattie's smile. Despite being in intense pain, NOT EATING for days, and not consuming fluids (only through IV), Mattie could still smile. Mattie could still play and wanted to engage with Peter and me. To me this is the sign of a very special person. 

Quote of the day: Patience is the companion of wisdom. ~ St. Augustine

Each morning when I wake up, I have an instant companion. Indie can't wait to see me and doesn't really want food or to play. Her main objective is for affection. I have never had such an affectionate cat who wants to be petted and loved. To me this is more dog like, than cat like. I was by our home phone this morning, and guess who jumped up on the piano to be right near more. Of course while there, she had to explore. Like our former cat Patches, Indie is also graceful and gingerly walks around things without damaging anything. 

This was Indie at lunch time. At lunch, I take a break and sit on the couch, and of course wherever I am, so is Indie! 

When Mattie came into my life, I migrated away from talking to people on the phone. Mostly because Mattie really wanted my undivided attention and he found it disrupting to our daily routine when I would have lengthy conversations. This was a major adjustment for me at first, because I used to have many phone calls a week. Of course when Mattie developed cancer, the phone really became off limits to me. Mattie hated hearing it ring, he found the sound of chatter overwhelming, and this became so severe that Mattie did not like Peter and I to talk to each other in the same room. Which is why toward the end of Mattie's life, Peter and I ONLY communicated through text messaging. This had devastating impacts on us individually but also on our marriage, as we had to relearn to communicate with one another. 

I really feel for seven years that I have been conditioned to hate the telephone. It is a learned behavior that I still have today. I find being on the phone longer than 30 minutes overwhelming. I almost feel trapped in a way and truly do not enjoy this level of conversing anymore. Yet of course for the Foundation, I do have to make phone calls and some are lengthy. I have no choice. 

However, today I received a call out of the blue from a former student of mine. She and I haven't spoken to one another for ten years. I always gave as much attention as I could to my students when I was a professor, which maybe why so many of them related to me and would always tell me what a difference I made in their lives. Today's phone conversation however was over 90 minutes, and by the time it ended I was wiped out. As Peter tells me often...... I need to take care of myself. Rather than meeting everyone else's needs, desires, and time schedule. It is very true, which is why I really wanted pets in my life. I feel that Indie and hopefully Sunny will be a good balance to my days, where I can get away from working, listening to other people, and connect with something on my own terms. 

1 comment:

MargyJost said...


I truly believe many children, even young intuitively, know their life is ending. They, first hand, experience one thing after another leave their life and ability to engage in different activities. The fact that you have this beautiful picture of Mattie just a few weeks before he died. It is a gift.
I completely understand the phone. It requires us to react immediately to the person on the other end of the conversation. I believe that idle chatter, phones ringing, and extraneous noise force a person in pain to loose the focus, they have established to cope with all that is going on in their lives. I admire you & Peter for texting to help keep Mattie's world quiet, best you could!
You are a kind & giving person, who gives a lot of yourself to others. Peter is right, you need your time and glad Indie is such a cuddly pet.
It appears, she quickly learned that you can take care of each other!!!!