Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2006. Mattie was four years old and that weekend we took him to Sesame Street Place. Ironically I did not know that the park had a big water feature to it. So while there, we bought both Peter and Mattie swim suits, and Mattie was eager to experience slides and things with Peter. This was NOT my thing, so I gladly followed along and took photos. THANKFULLY.
Quote of the day: We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
I couldn't fall asleep last night. Typically each night I take migraine medication to help keep my chronic daily migraines at bay. Or at least make the daily pain manageable. However, with all I have going on, I honestly couldn't remember whether I took my meds last night or not. However, when it was close to 1am, and I was still up and couldn't fall asleep, I knew! I then took my meds and fell asleep soon thereafter.
When Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, my sleep patterns changed. I learned, while living in the hospital with Mattie, not to sleep. I was lucky back then if I got two to three hours of sleep a night. How I functioned for over a year like this, I have NO IDEA. However, once Mattie died the anxiety and panic further set in, making sleeping close to impossible. Without sleep, my migraine condition worsens. Which is why I am grateful for migraine meds that both help with headaches and also make me sleepy. In fact, Peter used to be a terrible sleeper prior to Mattie getting cancer. Now he sleeps beautifully, and I am the one with the pervasive issue.
I got up at 6am today so that I could get myself ready, make breakfast, straighten up downstairs, and then get my dad up, showered, and dressed. I was taking my mom to the salon today in Georgetown, and in order to get there by 10am, that required me to perform a miracle. Of course in the midst of my usual chaos, Sunny began chemotherapy this morning. Within two hours of receiving his dosage, Sunny was a mess. He was highly anxious, glued to my side, panting uncontrollably and he seemed to have issues using his hind legs. I called the vet in a total panic and gave it to them. I made them write a note to their ER department in case I have to bring Sunny in this weekend.
Fortunately I think some of Sunny's gastro-intestinal meds and nausea meds have kicked in. I hope this is a trend, but honestly I am frazzled with daily tasks, demands, and one crisis after the other. While driving my mom to Georgetown, I have to say I was having a meltdown. I am not a crier, but a screamer. There is so much on my plate on a daily basis, that something has to give.
Any case, while my mom was having her hair done, I got to get my nails done. I have seen this manicurist since 2009, I was introduced to her when Mattie died. Going out every two weeks to get my nails done, was how I initially began re-integrating back into the world after I lost Mattie. Needless to say, after seeing someone for 13 years, we developed a rapport and friendship. So having two hours away from home, away from my dad's questions, constant demands, his bowel issues, and other problems, was very welcomed. Of course no good deed goes unpunished. Coming home from the salon, I picked my dad up at the memory care center. As soon as we walked into the house, he had an IBS attack and he was covered in poop. I had quite the clean up job to face and I assure you this isn't an isolated problem. It is a problem I face practically daily.
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