Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2009, and it is PRICELESS! Mattie received a Sponge Bob plaque from one of our Team Mattie supporters, and he absolutely LOVED IT! In fact, he was trying to give me a Sponge Bob type of smile for this picture. I came across this photo tonight, and Mattie's smile simply captured my heart. I hope you enjoy it too! I can almost feel his energy and life pouring out of this picture.
Quote of the day: “There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” Dwight David Eisenhower quotes (American 34th President)
As my blog readers know, the year following Mattie's death, I started off each blog posting with a grief poem. Over the course of a year's time, I think many wonderful and deeply meaningful poems were captured here. The poems eloquently reflected either my feelings or simply expressed the pain and insights of other parents who lost a child. However, as Peter and I continue this journey, I decided to migrate back to daily quotes. I came across this quote by President Eisenhower tonight. This quote captured my attention. When I first read it, I immediately related to it. I copied it onto the blog, and while I re-read it, I thought to myself...... this quote is just too realistic, I wonder if Eisenhower lost a child? So naturally, I googled President Eisenhower and the death of a child. Low and behold, as I suspected, President Eisenhower lost his only child, who happened to be a son. I am not sure why I immediately knew that from just reading the quote, but maybe I can recognize the underlying pain expressed by a grieving parent. A pain that could only be captured from personal experience. I find it fascinating that Eisenhower never spoke of his son's death for the most part, and was stoic about the loss. Yet despite his brave exterior, internally he never felt as if his life was the same again. I couldn't have said it better myself.
I came across this on the Internet about Eisenhower, which you may find of interest.....
In December, while Ike was still at Camp Meade awaiting reassignment, the Eisenhower’s only child, Doud Dwight, became seriously ill. The boy, affectionately called “Ikky,” was barely three years old when scarlet fever struck. Ike and Mamie were in the Camp Meade infirmary when the child died on January 2, 1921. Both parents were devastated. Throughout the ordeal of the funeral and grieving months to follow they did their best to comfort each other, but it was the worst part of both their lives. A permanent scar was left on each of them. Ike adopted stoicism as his method of handling the tragedy and he almost never spoke of it. In 1948 in a letter to a friend he wrote, “I was on the ragged edge of a breakdown.” When Actress Helen Hayes lost her daughter to disease in 1949, Ike wrote to her, “We were once in the same black pit….” After writing his memoir in 1966, Ike had Ikky’s remains removed from his original burial ground in Denver and re-interred in the Chapel at the Eisenhower Center in Abilene, where Ike and Mamie would eventually rest.
As I am beginning to absorb the fact that we completed a year without Mattie in it, the next sad reality of course is that we have a whole other year ahead of us like this, and if that isn't bad enough then we have more years after that to come. It is an endless grieving process, and that notion can be daunting.
I began my day with a licensure board meeting. These meetings are always challenging and stimulating, and most definitely get me to focus and concentrate. It is one of the things I used to do in my former life, which I still enjoy doing. After the meeting, I came home, and felt the need to lie down. I just felt tired and my head was hurting. However, in the midst of doing this, I got a message from Ann about her mom. Mary, Ann's mom, was having a difficult day, so I mustered energy to visit her. When I got to Mary's assisted living facility she told me that she was surprised to see me and that I made her afternoon. I sat with Mary for a while, and we chatted about a bunch of different things. I then helped her with her dinner, and during dinner she reminded me that "we have a lot in common." As I tell Mary all the time, we belong to two different clubs. The cancer club and the death by cancer club. Neither club would we ever want to seek membership in, but somehow life had other plans for us.
It is interesting, tonight Peter and I had a conversation about our close friends. What we quickly deduced was those closest to us were touched by cancer in some way. Actually that revelation was daunting in a way. Because we were friends with most of the folks prior to Mattie developing cancer. So what does that mean? Cancer was destined in our lives? Or are certain people drawn to one another somehow? Or does cancer happen to specific types of people? I am not sure how I feel about any of this, but Peter got me thinking.
This evening, I met up with my new friend, Tina. Tina is one of Ann's neighbors and is the lovely person who hosted my birthday party in July. Tina invited me to her friend's jewelry show. So I went with her and saw a jewelry line I never heard of before. We tried on different pieces of jewelry and got ideas about how to make certain pieces of our own for half the price! We then went out to dinner together and talked about many different topics. As I told Tina tonight, seeing the jewelry and going out was an excellent distraction, and sometimes distractions and lively conversation are very needed and good medicine.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a beautiful e-mail I received today from my mom entitled, "Being Mattie." I told her that her message was very touching and meaningful to me, because it seemed to capture the essence of Mattie's first anniversary blog and the impact Mattie had on others.
________________________________________________
Being Mattie by Virginia R. Sardi
The tribute to Mattie on yesterday’s blog, the first anniversary of his death, was remarkable in the scope of expression heard from young and old alike, from those who knew him before his illness and from those who knew him afterwards. A universal theme that ran through the messages of remembrance was that Mattie’s charismatic life force had the power to transform the mundane into the extraordinary and induce others to greater heights of feeling and experience by just being his creative self. Using his intrinsic talent for adventure and guided by his innovative spirit that lay dormant until it blossomed as a preschooler at Resurrection Children’s Center and then later evolved in St. Stephens and St Agnes, he perfected his dynamic “Pied Piper” personality to become “the catalyst” that triggered sensational reactions in others and being Mattie, it was always something unexpected, unpredictable, serendipitous, wildly exciting, zany, irresistible, thrilling and memorable!
As the ripples of the waves spread out across the ocean, Vicki, you and Peter have told a compelling story that has been etched in the hearts of all who have been faithful readers of the blog from its inception and through your power to communicate with clarity and depth, you have introduced Mattie to many others who feel connected to him through this incredible document detailing his courageous battle against cancer and how he chose to find happiness and purpose in every wakeful moment of his short life. It is a tribute to you that your blog introduced him to an audience of people who may never have known him but who have grown to appreciate his awesome strength of character in the face of adversity and have chosen to remain connected to the blog for many personal reasons of their own. One of the most revealing aspects of Mattie’s personality that you refer to often in the blog is his intrinsic love of nature so is it any wonder that butterflies, the sun, moon, planets, stars and beautiful rainbows symbolize his presence to those of us who are faithful readers of it? Your readers report their sightings of these things and link it instinctively to their special memories of Mattie. His spunk and courage are legendary and faithfully reported in the blog as well as his ability to find happiness under duress, remarkable in one so young. What your blog has succeeded in doing is recording for all posterity Mattie’s story so that it will never be forgotten. Through your powerful description of the bond you and Peter shared with Mattie, you enlightened a whole generation with your wisdom and understanding of how to deal with life’s sorrows and reminded your readers to find happiness in every living moment and not to become distracted by the inconsequential but to stay focused on family life which should be their top priority. It is very clear that you loved being Mattie’s mother which is a role you played so superbly. That is why your blog is an extension of your motherly love conveying to readers that exuberant feeling of what it was like being his mother when he was just being Mattie, the Mattie we all loved!
_____________________________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment