Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008 in the main hallway of Georgetown University Hospital. As you can see Mattie went around the Hospital collecting all sorts of boxes to create with. I almost forgot about this, until I came across this picture last week. Naturally after Mattie's surgeries his mobility was greatly limited, but by that time, Mattie had a whole hospital brigade programmed to look for and save boxes for him. When I enter the Hospital now for meetings or return visits, walking down this main hallway always is challenging and most likely always will be for me. Because in my mind I can picture Mattie and I together, I can hear his voice, his cries, and his worries. For you see, we passed through this hallway each time he entered the Hospital for an admission. During most admissions, he was physically ill, exhausted, and wanted to just be a normal six year old rather than one who saw and experienced the ravages of cancer.


Childhood Cancer Fact of the Day: Over half of pediatric cancer families will file for bankruptcy (American Cancer Society).

My mom and I began our day by walking over three miles on her neighborhood track. Unlike my walking routine at home, which for the most part is a solitary experience, my mom's track has many neighbors who exercise there. Over the course of the last week, I have met some of her fellow walkers. So in a way her track is a social experience. Today, I had the opportunity to meet an older gentleman and his dog, Rusty. Rusty is part pitbull and doberman. Two breeds which I admit to stereotyping and being afraid of. However, Rusty was as I called him a "pussycat." Rusty is a good companion to this man, and this man certainly needs a companion (from my perspective), since he lost his wife to cancer. What caught my attention about this interaction, was despite the years that have lapsed since his wife has died, the story about how she was diagnosed and the battle she endured were VERY fresh and VERY real. As if this all just happened yesterday for me.

I suppose this man's story intrigued me because his feelings in a way reflect mine. The memories of battling cancer and then losing a loved one are devastating. He described the frustrations he had with his wife's doctors and in her case, her cancer metastasized and her physicians weren't even aware of this until it was too late. I can sense that this man partially blames himself for his wife's death and was told by another physician that if his wife's cancer was caught before it had spread, she may have been alive today. Though I appreciate this medical fact, such knowledge is NOT helpful to know as a grieving husband. This information just makes him feel guilty, as if he could have done more, and he could have done a better job. This is a physician who needs sensitivity training! Believe it or not, this man got so mad at this doctor, that the doctor called the police on him and told the police that the man was a threat to him. Unbelievable! This man couldn't hurt a fly, and if you saw him physically you would completely understand my assessment. Seems to me this doctor needs Grief 101, so that he can be enlightened to the simple fact that anger is a part of grief. The doctor should have realized he was the recipient of this man's emotional loss, and perhaps if he had listened to him rather than called the police, a better resolution to this man's grief process would have occurred. When a helping professional loses sight of the importance of connecting with patients and treating them like human beings, then from my perspective, this professional is no longer useful or effective.

After our walk, as we were driving back home, I spotted more deer. Today's sighting involved a buck, with his beautiful antlers. I did not have my camera with me, but took the photo with my phone. You can see the buck if you look closely.

My parents and I went for a drive today. On the way out of their neighborhood, again I saw deer! This has to be deer season, because I have never seen so many each day on any of my previous visits. Either that, or Mattie is sending me a profound message.

I have come to the conclusion that the deer own these hills, and the residents living in houses are their guests. Check out this deer on the front lawn next to some one's house! I just love the ears on these deer.

When we went out to lunch today we received these cartoon like napkins. They are silly, but none the less made me laugh... 1) What do you call a fish with no eyes?...... FSH! 2) What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?...... A nervous wreck! and 3) Where do fish go to borrow money?....... The loan shark!

After lunch we walked around, and we noticed a beautiful fountain. We went over to check it out and swimming inside the fountain were these glorious turtles. Another sighting Mattie would have most appreciated.