Monday, February 13, 2012Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. We went on a family vacation to San Diego with my parents and while having lunch my parents took a picture of us. Mattie decided to come between us and hang off of our shoulders. The real monkey in the middle!
Quote of the day: When you are inspired by some great purpose.... dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be. ~ Patanjali
My friend Charlie sent me this quote today and it really resonated with me. In the midst of my health issues, I found aspects of peace today while focusing on the Foundation. I suppose if I am unable to raise Mattie, my "great purpose" in life is therefore to keep his memory alive and to help other children like him. That is a huge and at times insurmountable purpose. But I am very focused upon the upcoming Foundation's Childhood Cancer Psychosocial Symposium and had a wonderful hour long conference call with Dr. Anne Kazak, the psycho-oncologist who I asked to serve as our symposium scientific chair. I found Anne over a year ago while conducting my own research literature searches. As I began scanning through her papers and her works, I immediately found that I resonated with her studies and her style. So I decided to email her and the rest is history. We have been connected ever since.
Naturally however, there were times today that it was hard for me to concentrate. Aziza kept in touch with me throughout the day as did Linda. I joked with Linda, because I said I need my own childlife specialist to make it through this crisis. Aziza is working hard at keeping me updated and calm. She chatted today with the radiologist who specializes in pelvic imaging and she shared with me her thinking. I follow up with my doctor on Thursday, and hopefully by then, they will have conferred with each other and figured out what they plan on saying to me. Nonetheless, despite my fears and anxieties, I am most grateful that I have a doctor like Aziza to talk with and who has taken on my case. A case which she didn't need to have, but as she says, "what are friends for?" All I can say is I have great friends. In the midst of Aziza helping me at Georgetown, I have Ann working her magic through Washington Hospital Center. So between these two well known facilities, it is my hope that there will be consensus on what we are dealing with.
This evening I began sending out invitations to our psychosocial symposium on March 20! I am happy to say that within 30 minutes, I had people registering. I hope that is a trend! Now the goal is to make it until Thursday. I find that if I am not medically ill, I will certainly be by the time this is all over. The stress of this is an absolute killer for me because I no longer react like a rational person. I am a person who has been scared by childhood cancer, and therefore even the mere mention of a mass or potential cancer sends me right over the edge.
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