Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2006. Mattie was four and a half years old. He was celebrating Christmas in Boston with Peter's family. No matter what the weather was like, Mattie enjoyed being outside. As you can see he was playing in the sand with cars, trucks, and trying to build regardless of how hard packed the sand may have been. This gave him pleasure and and we knew keeping him busy and active was key to his happiness back then.
Quote of the day: What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce. ~ Karl Lagerfeld
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It also seems quite appropriate that in the Hallmark store I got to catch up with my friend Debbie. We talked about a bunch of different things and as always when I converse with Debbie, she gets me to think, process, and talk. Which is a gift. Few people really want to listen on that level, so to me it is greatly appreciated.
One of the greatest challenges Peter and I face after losing Mattie is trying to find a way to integrate back into the lives of our friends we once had, friends who have healthy children who are still growing and developing. They are still parents and of course we are not. When Mattie died, it set up a divide... of the haves and the have nots. The haves and the have nots sometimes do not know how to deal with each other, without both setting each other off. It can be problematic and I have tried both extremes of immersing myself fully back in with my friends to having nothing to do with them. At times neither felt good and it can be very confusing when you do not feel like you fit in anymore with anyone. I cycle in and out and fortunately there are people in my life who understand my need to do this and haven't walked away. Though it would be easy to do this since the emotions of grief are hard to understand and read.
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looked like in December of 2013. I saved all the decorations and the bow!
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