Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2003. Mattie was 15 months old and exploring the Outer Banks of North Carolina with us. I remember this day very well. It was super hot, but despite the temperature, we were out in the mid-day sun touring around and exploring things with Mattie. Mattie wasn't in love with the beach that year, so by day we were very active and having all sorts of adventures all over the Island.
Quote of the day: It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~ Barbara Kingsolver
Kingsolver's quote is VERY true. It is hard for parents to see their children grow up before their eyes, mature, and evolve to the point of independence. But in the end that is what every parent ultimately wants..... a responsible, mature, morally guided, and independent child. I am not sure what she is implying with this statement.... "I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't?" Meaning that no parent wants to raise an immature and irresponsible child, but I of course look at this quote from my lens and can only think.... what happens if your child is taken from you too soon and you never get to see him grow up? Well that is definitely an issue, and an issue Peter and I face each day. This issue becomes even more heightened (if that is possible) around holidays, such as Father's Day coming up.
I am not sure how we were planning on spending the weekend. In fact, I would say that weekends have become challenging again for us. I am not sure if this is a post-walk issue or just how things are right now, as we typically go through cycles and phases with grief and loss. But our weeks are structured and therefore they provide more security, whereas the weekends are lost and directionless. However, today we had our first planning meeting to revamp our Foundation website, and our consultants gave us assignments for the weekend. The feedback needs to be received by next week and they want us to launch the site by July 1st. I wasn't expecting such a quick turn around time, so I feel a great deal of pressure at this point, and we have a full weekend of work ahead of us. This is the issue with the Foundation in a way, it is a full time - 7 day a week job. In which I am constantly thinking, creating, and planning. If I stop doing this, then the momentum for the Foundation stops, which neither Peter nor I would ever want to see happen.
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