Tonight's picture was taken on April 4, 2002 at 1am... the moment Mattie was born. Peter clearly snapped this photo and in typical Mattie style, he had one eye open and was engaged with the world. Even right out of the womb! This was Mattie's theme..... he never wanted to miss out on anything, and he always absorbed everything and everyone around him!
Quote of the day: When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. ~ Ernest Hemingway
Hemingway's quote is most beautiful and really very telling. Sometimes when one listens, one needs to listen to more than the words that are being communicated to fully get the picture of what is being expressed. I think yesterday's episode at the hospital was case in point. I could clearly express my anxiety about having a scan, and technically the person administering the scan was "listening" but there was no true acknowledgment or processing of the content or feelings of what I was expressing. So the art of listening is more than the mere physical nature of processing noises. Listening is truly an art and when done effectively is VERY tiring! Try listening to what someone is saying to you even for ten minutes. Think about the content and the underlying feelings expressed, stay engaged and don't allow your mind to wander. It isn't easy, especially in our fast paced world in which we have ten thousand things pulling at us and demanding our attention.
After yesterday's ordeal, and it was an ordeal by every stretch of the imagination, I needed to talk about it after it was over. Naturally I shared my concerned with the hospital administration, which was step one, and I wrote on the blog last night, but immediately after it was over, I got in the car and called my mom. I must have talked non-stop for an hour. That is how anxiety provoking the scan and experience was and for me (and remember I am NOT a phone person!). Through Mattie's crises, I developed two modes of operating.... the very quiet mode of getting through things and then the very hyper mode of letting someone have it. Both modes serve great purposes and over time I learned which mode I needed to be in to survive. However, in all reality I think if Mattie were working with that tech yesterday, I would have pulled him from the room and reported her much sooner. But I wanted the data and the test to be over with. Talking with my mom for an hour re-stabilized me yesterday, because I can feel sometimes when anxiety just takes over and then it can be hard to function. Again, this is a direct after effect (and a long-term one) of Mattie's cancer! As my call with my mom ended, Peter arrived home from his business trip and then I shared the ordeal with him.
Today, I spoke to Sylvia, who is the Executive Director of Radiology Services at Georgetown. She actually read last night's blog, shared my posting with the rest of radiology, as well as the radiology leadership team. I walked her through everything that happened from dealing with the administrative staff, to my issues with the tech. Sylvia was deeply apologetic, understood my concerns, and expressed that she was going to take my feedback to the department to improve patient care. Which of course is important to me, since I wouldn't want another person to experience what I went through yesterday on any level.
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